Embracing Change: Reciprocity, Mentors, and the Power of Community Support

As I swung open the doors to a new chapter of my life, embracing the thrill of launching a book brand and the bold step of a career transition, I stumbled upon a transformative truth: the art of reciprocity in support. This episode weaves through the rich tapestry of personal milestones and societal musings from the departing year. From that guest who vowed to only show up for those matching their investment, to the introspective reflections on the power of mentors in shaping our financial gumption and spiritual depths, join us on a compelling expedition of self-discovery and mutual growth.

Navigating the choppy waters of relationships and societal expectations often feels like a journey without a compass, but I've gathered stories brimming with the wisdom of hindsight. The hazards of ignoring red flags, the pursuit of a partner who mirrors our own hunger to excel, and the curious case of cultural narratives distorting our views on love and success; these anecdotes serve as buoys, guiding us towards emotional intelligence and true self-awareness. With the warm presence of guests like Rihanna, Brian, Shiana, Briana, Rodney, and not to forget, my brother Kyle, we dissect the complex interplay between our emotional well-being, financial decisions, and the overarching journey of personal evolution.

In this intimate gathering, we're not just talking—we're sparking a movement. Rekindling the communal fires of yesteryear, we recognize the potent impact of a supportive village and the critical choice of its leaders. We confront the sensationalism in media, challenging ourselves to elevate discourse for community betterment. As we transition our podcast schedule to cozy Saturday afternoons, we're not just bidding farewell to a profound year of lessons but igniting the flame for an empowered future. Thank you, our cherished listeners, for being the critical voices and ears in this conversation that reverberates with action, reflection, and a relentless quest for growth.

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:30

Give me one second while I try to connect my IG. There it is, it is connected. There it is. Welcome to 2024,. Everyone I hope everyone is doing well Today. Let me put on some background music.

Speaker 2: 1:11

I'm going to be talking about lessons I learned from 2023. 2023 was one of my most social years. If you're interested in getting in this conversation, let me know. I will actually put a link to the studio stage as well, if you want to give out some things that you're leaving in 2023. If you want to add anything to the conversation, please do so. All I have to say is thank you all for watching. Welcome to the Medium Ghetto channel. This was my most social year. With a little bit of recap, in this year, I launched a book brand. I launched YouTube. I hit a couple of news things as well. Thank you, Bree. I changed my job position. I no longer work in HR at this moment. I'm about to finish school in May. The reason why this conversation is important is this. I'm going to go over everything. We got some people here as well Brian, brian, brian, which Brian? Is it Awesome? What's going on? How are you, jamar? It's the first time I've seen you ever.

Speaker 1: 2:34

It's been a long time.

Speaker 2: 2:37

How you been. I'm glad you're here. I just want to have one of them crazy rants. No.

Speaker 1: 2:43

I have the crazy rants I just want to listen in. I was talking with my brother earlier about a podcast. He's pertaining to a lot of what you were already wanting to discuss. We wanted to check you out, see what you had to discuss. If we can add to it, we will. Otherwise we just listen.

Speaker 2: 3:03

All right, Beth. With that being said, I'm going to let you get in this. Give me three things. It could be anything. Anything that you're going to keep in 2023. What are the lessons that I'm not taking? That I'm not taking with me. No, what are you not taking into 2024? What are?

Speaker 1: 3:26

you changing?

Speaker 2: 3:27

Because the reason why I'm going to preface it with this. This year, I learned a lot about cycles and things like that. I think it was in May. I started realizing and I started getting around the right people People were making good money, people were living happy lives A lot of them, I realized a lot of us are focusing so much on healing. We're not focusing actually on doing With. That being said, I was reading a book about relationships in every manner. I was talking about the karmic cycle. So many times we're going through the same thing and we're just not learning the lesson. I feel like 2023, so many people learn a lesson. I'm hoping they break the cycle. The question is how?

Speaker 1: 4:16

How do they break the cycle? I feel like people think that they're healing, but they're honestly just kind of like pushing it aside. They're going to deal with it later, which is why they keep on rehearsing the same thing over and over. What am I leaving in 2023? My desire to show up for people is to be able to do it. My desire to show up for people who don't show up for me, definitely leaving that my inability to say no or my lack of wanting to say no Not that I'm a yes woman at all, but I do like to show up for people.

Speaker 1: 4:57

I do like to be the support system, the cheerleader and everything. I do also recognize how important it is for others to also be that for you. And when that's kind of on a decline or it's just not there at all, what's the point of you being a part of my tribe if you're not really a part of my tribe? And a third thing but I'm not leaving in 2023. Hopefully, this anxiety, this shyness, this nervousness, because I truly believe that I am supposed to be a speaker, a conversationalist, communicator, just overall, on a lot of a range of different topics, and I know that I have the capacity to do such. I just have to have the willpower, the steadfastness. Yeah, just continue to push through and do that, but that's pretty much all I'm really leaving in 2023. 2023, it was beating my behind, but I feel like I fall back.

Speaker 2: 5:54

That's good. I like the last part, when you're like well, you got a lot to say, you got a message, but you don't have the confidence to say it or you don't have the will to stand on business Right basically. That's what it is. Yeah, so is Brian your brother. He is I know so many Brian's man which. Brian is it? I want to turn his camera on too.

Speaker 1: 6:25

I want to hear from him.

Speaker 2: 6:28

If he knows how Brian Brian turn your camera on Now. If you don't want to turn his camera on, you don't have to.

Speaker 1: 6:35

He's probably not that tech savvy, is it?

Speaker 2: 6:38

Michael, I don't even think so.

Speaker 1: 6:41

You know what. Anything happen in the chat or no.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Let me ask you.

Speaker 1: 6:47

He said he's making food right now, so he's just a listener currently.

Speaker 2: 6:51

Yeah, I'm going to say it.

Speaker 2: 6:53

You're going to be absolutely fine, but that was my New Year's resolution. Your lesson from 2023 is actually my lesson last year, from 2022. Because I realized a lot of times, especially introverts, we have a lot to say, we have a lot of perspective, but we never say it. We're carefully moving into life and if you're studying and you're getting to know people, you know you, you have the ability to they get to know people at like a deeper level, then sometimes they even know themselves. But a lot of time we don't use our own tools and we keep thinking we have to be social. Mm-hmm, you think we have. It's okay to have a. I guess it's not okay to have a social battery, but I tried. Not, I tried to act like I didn't have a social battery. I always will have a social battery.

Speaker 1: 7:47

I mean it's all do, though, like yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:50

We all do like extra verse, even have a social battery and I'm probably in between and I think it was a quote, maybe genetic, I go, I can't really say who it was but it was basically like I'm introverted around you know people that I don't feel comfortable with, people that don't make me feel like I have a Reason to be extroverted with them. So but in reality I'm pretty bubbly out there. I'm charismatic and Outgoing. I was spoken, but I have to feel comfortable around you and you have to give me an energy that shows me that like, okay, you see me, we, we reflect in each other. We have a mirror here and that's if it's like too cloudy and it's not, what is that word that I'm looking for? It's just not aligning. That I don't.

Speaker 2: 8:35

I'm introverted because it's like I'm just yeah, I think, like the myth is that we don't, we're shy or something like that, but we're not. Mm-hmm, yeah, I think it's absolutely right. They said Trina was introvert too, but, um, yeah, I think it's important to find your tribe and, like the hangout. Well, I was like to my first point. My first lesson is like find your tribe, go to these conferences, like, if you want like financial one, be near people who are wrong financially. It's not about just finding people are like you, it's also finding people who are going to be becoming Like you want to be. Um, mm-hmm, yes, there's just finding people. You arrive and they just stuck there and they already became Coming right and it's not gonna work out.

Speaker 1: 9:25

It kind of get lost in transition, because who am I going there with? Like you guys are already established, guys are already here and it's a little bit more difficult. I mean, yes, you have something to look up to like.

Speaker 1: 9:36

Okay, like I'm aspiring to be with the crowd and, if you know, like this, like a mean girl play group, but not the mean girl, but I want to be a part of this and who do I have to go up there with to join with me? So, yeah, definitely what want to be amongst the becoming tribe?

Speaker 1: 9:53

Exactly together and we could learn together experience, get, go through all of those you know, even flow to get there, rather than, oh my god, they're already they, they know like. That's why I'm so nervous with being around actual speakers. To a degree he's just like thank, you already know your delivery, you know how to you know how to do all of this already and I'm over here tongue-tied like, oh wait, I let me redeem myself. So yeah, I mean you just got to grow. Grow out of Comfort, grow in discomfort.

Speaker 2: 10:24

I should. I Think, like the growth in discomfort, that part is very important because so many times we just want to be, want to be comfortable. It's good to be home.

Speaker 1: 10:38

Right right.

Speaker 2: 10:40

It's so easy to be like I always do the full day of work and just go home. You know me.

Speaker 1: 10:45

Yeah, and we're so used to that, doing our Eight and skates, especially as it pertains to work. So when do we have the chance to really, you know, grow in discomfort like it's? It'd be rare, because I don't know if we really apply ourselves that often To do so, because, again, it's uncomfortable, it's unfamiliar, we're not used to it. So how do I make myself like, oh, you know what I'm, I'm trying to get familiar here, you know. And then I want to get unfamiliar somewhere else. So, and that's, that's even it's power. And when people, you know they decide I'm gonna take her a road trip alone, I'm going through a solo trip, I feel like what, as an, as a middle introvert, extroverted person, I'm like I don't know if I can do that, not yet.

Speaker 1: 11:29

But, I have to grow in discomfort.

Speaker 2: 11:32

You do. I think one thing, too, is like getting a coach. This is what the next point was like getting a coach, getting a mentee Relation you should get. You should have someone who looks up to you, near you, and also you should have someone who's you're looking up to, agreed, because I, at the end of the day, if you have like, let's say, you have a trip planner, that person's gonna be able to say, yo, you feel like yo, I feel this way about this, and they can let you know that's normal.

Speaker 1: 11:56

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 11:57

And sometimes just need someone who went through it to let you know that those cues are normal and what cues are not normal absolutely, absolutely, oh my god.

Speaker 1: 12:05

So that's that's actually interesting, as is because it's like, oh, you got a travel advisor, but a travel advisor in life, with life. So, as you were saying, with the coach, the mentor, like you know, you, you will be uncomfortable here, you will feel a little bit abnormal, but you're supposed to. This is not, this is not familiar land for you. You know, you ain't never been a Jamaica, you've never been to Iceland. So, yeah, this would be a little bit uncomfortable for you, but I got you and.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Absolutely important, so I would definitely agree with that.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Yeah, man, as soon as you have like a. What took them to take? It may take them like 10, 5, 10 years. It may take them a little longer than you, but they can let you know all the cues to make your life and your growth faster.

Speaker 1: 12:42

So much, right, right, right, absolutely agreed. I think that's what my brother and I was just speaking on. Earlier too, you better chime in brian and stay, so, oh goodness man.

Speaker 2: 12:55

But I want to go to the next one. Focus is more than saying no, and this goes with like this is what I learned to this year. Um, it's with the mentor relationship too. So who are you? Who are you preaching to when you? When you preach, it's going to reflect back on you. What you give, you're going to get back.

Speaker 2: 13:13

I know right now I'm doing youtube, I'm doing a couple other things, and I have mentees out in the world. Realize they were my mentees until they contact you all day, like, yeah, I did this, with what else do I do? But it's nice to know that I'm learning things, because if I can, if it's I, if I understand it and it works out for me, that's good. But I understand things even more and I feel like I'm on the top of my game now that I can actually teach people and get them results, and it actually makes you more accountable the reason why I say mentees and mentors. A mentor helps you be more accountable, like a mentee teaches you where you used to be. A mentor shows you where you can be.

Speaker 1: 13:52

Okay, okay, now where we find that at.

Speaker 2: 13:56

You know, we gotta find a mentee, you gotta find someone who wants to grow with you in a way that you're a little bit ahead, I mean, and it's okay to be that way, cause they're probably asking questions, you have to go and find and seek, because the environmental factors definitely play a part, and it's like, ah, I didn't grow up having mentors, mentees, you know people that were really looking for better Cause.

Speaker 1: 14:22

They was just like what is this? And I know they exist. I absolutely didn't know that they're out there, but they're like where are they? How do I, how do I find them?

Speaker 2: 14:30

I don't know if you were, I'm trying to get a book. But it was saying with mentors it was like you don't have one mentor for everything. So you got your spiritual mentor, your financial mentor let's say we want a financial mentor, right? So next year I'm trying to get a group of friends that we're going to go to invest vest. I'm also trying to save up my money so I can afford a booth to sell my books at invest vest and it's like one of the largest festivals when it comes to like finance is ran by the people who do own like it was a earn your leisure.

Speaker 1: 15:03

Okay.

Speaker 2: 15:04

And they had people. Well, they had people such as the owner and the owner and current CEO of, like Chick-fil-A there all these billionaires, so it was a great network. And then they also have people like you and me who are also growing as well, and it teaches finances. And that's where you find them. You just go in the pond where you know your people inhabit.

Speaker 1: 15:27

Oh, good advice definitely.

Speaker 2: 15:29

You know what I mean. Like I think we, we're trying, like let's say you know the rate is for people to go out of poverty.

Speaker 1: 15:38

What is it?

Speaker 2: 15:39

It's around like four to 6%. Right, that's the best. That's the best, that's the best. Yeah, so saying that is like that means only about 94, they don't like a bunch of people are gonna be in the crowd, like 90% is gonna be in the crowd. So, yeah, I realized, like the number that are against you.

Speaker 1: 15:58

The percentage is extremely low, exactly Like four to 6%.

Speaker 2: 16:02

So what you gotta do is you gotta just be like yo. You're gonna easily be able to tell who's actually getting out the crowd. That's how wild it is out here, so we gotta start like seeing who's actually doing.

Speaker 1: 16:18

I mean, even if I was a fisher and I was out here throwing out bait and everything, it's the likelihood of getting one of the 46% trying to make it out and still like what about? That that's wild ain't it Like my foot, not oh wow.

Speaker 2: 16:33

Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 1: 16:35

that's insane, but it's definitely believable. But I mean that's also to a degree based on conditioning, to a degree you know. 94% are there for numerous reasons systemic, systematically, all types. But I can also see why they become again comfortable in their position. So, and a lot of people are uncomfortable because they like no, I'm a big fish in a small pond and I know I'm ready and meant for more, so more I shall have by any means.

Speaker 2: 17:02

Yeah, some fathers gotta leap out the pond.

Speaker 1: 17:05

You gotta, you gotta. Even being nervous, what am I about to leap into? But even being nervous, growth and discomfort.

Speaker 2: 17:12

That's gonna be the slogan.

Speaker 1: 17:14

That's gonna be the slogan for 2024 for me.

Speaker 2: 17:17

I'm gonna go into like relationships now too. That's one thing I realized this year.

Speaker 1: 17:22

I'm about to sign out. That's probably not the best guy.

Speaker 2: 17:28

Nah, this is the part about. This is my another thing too. Like, all right with relationships. If only that small amount of people is getting out of poverty, then why are, like I used to believe in the racks and riches? You find your love where you come from. You bring her with you, but at the end of the day, how rare is the find a woman that is in the 4 to 6%?

Speaker 1: 17:50

Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be low, it's gonna be low, it just is. I don't know if it's like what, inevitable I mean.

Speaker 2: 18:04

It's possible.

Speaker 1: 18:05

It's done, it, it's possible, but I'm still on the search Flashlight and all because, yeah, I don't know, I don't.

Speaker 2: 18:18

No, but I think this year I'm like I learned, just not the. I learned my lesson and with my karmic cycle of romance I learned what I was like looking for.

Speaker 1: 18:27

Okay.

Speaker 2: 18:28

And I learned what I was trying to be, what I was not looking for.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Okay. Explain that yeah, explain that.

Speaker 2: 18:38

I got you. So what happens? Is this? Right? You date somebody, you be like you're a nice person, right? When you're a nice person, you date somebody, you're a little bit more tolerant on every single thing. I'm over tolerant, in my opinion, over tolerant. So you don't. This is, nor the red flags, but the red flags keep. You ever dated the same person, just in a different body, of course, and that's part of like the karmic cycle. Yeah, so you start to realize, like yo, you're not gonna stop dating that one person until you learn a lesson. So what is the lesson from each one of those people? I can tell you my lesson.

Speaker 2: 19:17

Your lesson was you date the pretty girl who looks great. She says things the red flag. She says she wants no financial accountability, she wants to make enough just for her habits like drinking and smoking. She's wild out here and she has a wild past in these streets. Not wild wild?

Speaker 1: 19:41

How did you become attracted to that, like it was nothing else?

Speaker 2: 19:45

It was like a first, like yo she's seeing cool. Then you get to know her more and then everything starts to slip out more. Some people let the weed and the liquor talk up too much.

Speaker 1: 19:57

But like, where did you meet? Did you meet all of them in? Like I got similar instances.

Speaker 2: 20:04

I got some hood. Okay, here's the thing. Like you from the hood, right, right, so you don't judge people from where they come from.

Speaker 1: 20:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:17

But it's a little flag. It's like not everybody's equally yoked in our neighborhood.

Speaker 1: 20:23

So I mean, a lot of them are equally yoked. They just like they fit for each other.

Speaker 2: 20:29

Exactly.

Speaker 1: 20:30

Especially if we're making up to 46%.

Speaker 2: 20:35

Exactly. But then the day you went, that love story of finding someone from the beginning and growing with them.

Speaker 1: 20:41

Growing with them, yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:43

I blame Selena Rella, I mean, I blame Disney.

Speaker 1: 20:47

That wasn't for us anyway. However, however, I mean, I even feel like the likelihood there could be slim, because, again, are we growing together with the same like agenda in mind, with the same like similar mindsets, plans? If not, then we already not equally yoked Like what is our purpose? What are we doing this for?

Speaker 2: 21:15

Exactly.

Speaker 1: 21:15

I think we need to ask actual questions in preparation for the potential future, together with the people that we are trying to engage with Like, oh, I like this person. They are beautiful, but am I just being? What is the word? Brian, say the word for me. Jamar, say the word for me. It's the word that I'm using.

Speaker 2: 21:37

I just call it being over delusional or over tolerant.

Speaker 1: 21:40

We're gonna say delulu right now, but just based off of a parents alone, like, oh you know, that person looks good.

Speaker 2: 21:47

Oh, so you super face you.

Speaker 1: 21:49

There we go Super face you, you, super face you all right. Yeah, he talks eventually, but yeah, and I think with that we tend to oh wow, this person has the appearance that I want, this person speaks similar to me, but do they think similar to me? We don't really try to figure out the people. We don't even court in terms of dating, especially men. I don't know if men court anymore.

Speaker 2: 22:19

Y'all have some real shit. I think it's more tricking than courting.

Speaker 1: 22:23

Yeah, I mean it's what is normalized now Nobody's got to be like that.

Speaker 2: 22:28

That's actually another one of my points, by the way, like how we're normalizing, like disgusting habits, like it's some wild shit out here I've heard this year.

Speaker 1: 22:37

There's no shame. There's no shame in these streets anymore. Once certain people got a name, I don't need to try to shame anybody myself, I mean it is what it is. But once certain people got a name and they started being the entertainers and just well-known, like oh yeah, play that. And then we start to rehearse it, mimic it, allow that into our sphere. Next thing, you know, I want the same thing they want. But do you? Do you really want the same thing that they have? Going on.

Speaker 2: 23:13

Yes, we've been conditioned before we had extended.

Speaker 1: 23:15

That's the problem.

Speaker 2: 23:16

We've been conditioned before we had a standard, and I think the standard is so warped because we've been conditioned so. We were built for success. We're engineered for success, right, but we were programmed for failure when it comes to almost everything.

Speaker 1: 23:35

You're welcome. You like it. It's tasty, oh man, hold on, yeah, mute it.

Speaker 2: 23:40

Yeah, man. What I mean by that is, like, all right, let's say they're superficial, because at the end of the day, no-transcript You're, the music is saying this, the culture is saying this, but you want the opposite. And somehow, when you get the thing you the opposites you want you don't know how to appreciate it, because you've been so brainwashed to only appreciate what the culture wants 100%, 100%.

Speaker 1: 24:09

I mean that we can, we can utilize that exact same expression with, obviously, society. We can deal with that with colorism to a degree, but even that goes beyond just this little small scope. But yeah, I mean, we've been conditioned, we've been brainwashed and beat, bruise, assaulted and battered and to believe in that this is what we want and it's not, and it's so against who we are like, literally originally, that we lose sight of who we are, who's we are why, we are where we are.

Speaker 2: 24:45

And that messes up every part of our life, brianna. That messes with every part of our life.

Speaker 1: 24:50

And the trajectory like a hundred fold, and then it's like trying to get back to you, to what it is that you really desire. Need one is is fields are most impossible, because why, why did I accept this for so long, why did I allow this for so long? And then, when it comes with additional additions to what you are, such as children, such as marriage or sort of ties that you got other family members involved, is just it gets wow.

Speaker 1: 25:21

I don't have all of it, okay, okay, but yeah, it can be a lot, I'm sure, and trying to undo that While surviving Yikes.

Speaker 2: 25:38

I think like to is like I don't really. I'm kind of like a little little against the undoing part in a little bit, Because your tribe will follow you. You know what I mean. You will or they'll follow you or they will find you or they'll be there for you. And that's why I mean like success is attractive when it comes to relationships or finance or or whatsoever.

Speaker 2: 26:03

Like undoing, I think, is not the main part. I think the main focus should be on on doing that makes sense. So building those cultural environments where we invite, like my people let's say it's two of us, is three of us here right now communicating with similar ideals. There was three people. This rarely available. Think how many people we have in like the Philadelphia area who would want to meet. And that's when the culture should shift and that's when you meet people who are like you, when you become a beacon and you start doing. And you know, alright, as an introvert, I think one of my main flaws is when I'm thinking. I'm hoping people can pick up what I'm thinking, my morals for my thoughts, my morals from my decision making, for my thoughts. But you got to pick your. You know what's inside, outside per se, so I don't know what kind of person you are until I see your actions.

Speaker 1: 26:59

Yeah, this is definitely true.

Speaker 2: 27:01

And I won't want to be in your environment until I see your actions.

Speaker 1: 27:04

And then I'm going to question your training thought, because what led you to doing what you did and why? That's just me I probably have posed that question. Or, depending on what that action was, I decide you know what you no longer fit. You just don't fit. So, yeah, we probably not, we're probably not. I can be because I have to touch on my side, but I'm sure a lot of people aren't. Because a lot of people are like, oh, they deserve, they deserve a second chance and the second chance and I don't know how many second chances there are, but I heard it was to but other people, I don't know they, they multiply different.

Speaker 2: 27:49

No, screw that. I don't believe in second chance all the time. Maybe I'm not not pretty, I'm very super. I call it being more careful, not unforgiving.

Speaker 1: 28:00

I mean you get, don't touch the stove, don't touch the stove. You touch the stove, I got burnt. You know now what you know now, like if the flame is lit, keep your hands back. I mean, I was that. That is that's needed Carefulness, the necessary characteristic. I mean I mean and being careful. I would think that you develop awareness. Oh numerous in numerous forms Social, environmental, financial. You know what?

Speaker 2: 28:35

if we should, let's get on awareness like I think, so many people are distracted, we move out awareness.

Speaker 1: 28:45

Yep.

Speaker 2: 28:46

To deal with it. You don't have the time to deal with it.

Speaker 1: 28:52

I don't think it's just distraction, as much as it could also be decent. I desensitization say it works for me. Desensitization, bone, there we go. Yeah, a lot of us are desensitized. We don't even give ourselves a chance again to what is happening. What am I accepting, what am I allowing? Because we are getting? A lot of us are just surviving, we just trying to make it through the day.

Speaker 2: 29:15

So even relationship, we just like, we just do a good enough, like the jobs out here ain't paying you enough. We all know that.

Speaker 1: 29:22

So why don't we know about it? Contentment Finding comfort and discomfort.

Speaker 2: 29:27

I guess we and then we're all. We're chatting with each other like it's okay you're going through the same thing. Just because that person's going through the same thing doesn't mean it's okay.

Speaker 1: 29:35

But we will trauma bond with them because it's relatable.

Speaker 2: 29:38

Yeah, I think the whole United States is trauma bonding with this economy. But oh well, yeah we definitely are at this point, because what the hell? Not the rhyme, though what?

Speaker 1: 29:55

the hell.

Speaker 2: 29:58

I can't hit my spacebar. My comments have gone back and forth, so for where this is still a skill that is hard to hone, for most seem.

Speaker 1: 30:07

Hmm.

Speaker 2: 30:10

Hmm, yeah, it is, you got to know it and like, if you're born in, it is harder to be self aware, or something that's bad for you, that you don't realize it's bad for you, definitely. So at what point? At what point? At what point I'll say like, let's say, I could be abusive, mentally abusive. Well, I've seen it so much in my house. I think it's just a part of getting what I want, and it's okay to fulfill what I want, because I got to fulfill my needs to, even if I got to motivate her in a different way.

Speaker 1: 30:46

And then how does one become aware that they are mentally abusive? Because there are a lot of I mean narcissists, gaslighters and things existing, both men and women, men and women. And how do we know that we are doing this If again, like you said, we adapted to it? That's just who we are. Now we have to. I guess again I learned it. How do we know that's what we're being when no one has corrected our actions, are giving us consequences towards them, like Brian would just speak it on? Do we know when there's no more need for a second chance? Oftentimes, again, we have enablers who will continuously accept that in which we're doing so? We think that it's normal and acceptable.

Speaker 2: 31:29

Yeah, I think a one person said you either grow from what inspiration or desperation. You're making a change from those two things. So are we gonna? Are you gonna read something and reflect on yourself to find your inconsistencies and figure out yourself, or you're gonna play bro, what the hell are you doing?

Speaker 1: 31:52

And in the likelihood of us actually trying to read and learn. You know, oh, gold, running healthy. That's not good, it's slim. It's again based off of us trying to do what to survive, self-preserve, even at the, at the extent or whatever of utilizing other people, like we don't want to self destruct but we'll let you. It sucks.

Speaker 2: 32:20

It does.

Speaker 1: 32:21

And again, the people want to receive an end. Not being aware also of that. It's like they're they're enablers, but are they not also responsible? Or we're gonna see here and just tell you they can have the victim, the victim card. You wasn't aware of the fact that you was being mistreated.

Speaker 2: 32:40

Right.

Speaker 1: 32:41

I mean.

Speaker 2: 32:43

But another thing, right? All right, let's go. Let's go to this. You know what emotional intelligence is right? You heard the buzzword that everyone's been using for the last two or three years.

Speaker 1: 32:53

What was the buzzword? It's so many emotional intelligence. That's what they've been using lately, yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:00

I've been hearing. I'm a mostly intelligent man, I'm an emotional intelligent woman, but they keep our here's. My thing is it's a high horse now. So when you're using people say they are on a high horse and here's the thing. But I've seen with these multiple people and I say a name, talking with my amongst yourself I've seen them literally picked themselves in situations where they know that they will be triggered. To me that that's absolutely not emotionally intelligent.

Speaker 1: 33:29

It's not the opposite.

Speaker 2: 33:32

Yeah, what was the most opposite being project?

Speaker 1: 33:37

Oh my god, I know it's opposite. Now, now, what is that opposite?

Speaker 2: 33:40

Stupidity.

Speaker 1: 33:41

Antonyms please.

Speaker 2: 33:43

Antonyms, anybody, they ain't. Brian had all the anonyms, where'd he go?

Speaker 1: 33:51

But yeah, they definitely will put themselves in triggering situations because they a lot of people like shock value and pretend not to, I mean, and then I guess those who say that they are emotionally intelligent are probably the same people that are just like you know, I'm going into 2024 blocking your link, nobody matters to me and all that. That's not. First of all, it's not healing, it's not emotional intelligence, you're just emotional, that's it. That's all I have for it.

Speaker 2: 34:24

You're outlandish. Yeah, let's just say I was outlandish.

Speaker 1: 34:28

I guess we can go with that, but it's definitely not emotional intelligence. I mean. If blocking them actually I mean because it can, it can, but will you keep them blocked Do you need to say, have the last word for them? Do you need to start bad mouthing them to make yourself feel good about yourself? Or did you completely wash your hands of that person, the situation or whatsoever and continue to live your life? Is there are differences, I mean, and a lot of us will do what? Oh, if somebody brings them up, are we going to talk about them the whole, the entire time? But then you say, oh, okay, let's talk about you. They don't want to speak about themselves.

Speaker 2: 35:02

Exactly. They don't want the accountability Exactly, which is what's killing me. It's like I just ran. I keep running into the same dog that bites me, but in the same, in a different yard. Pretty much, Maybe you should not go around those type of dogs.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Or stop being a male carrier.

Speaker 2: 35:22

There you go, get in the job, and what contacts are they? Mostly intelligent and no contacts. Because I think he's read the word and I think because they can identify emotions. There is a book called Atlas at the Heart, atlas I think it's Atlas of the Heart. It goes over all the emotions. It's a really great book. I forgot her name author and the preface of the book states pretty much is yo, we, you got to know your vocabulary of emotions and the more, the more hired a vocabulary, the better reality you live. You know what I mean. If you can just once you can describe something there's like new features in your life. You know so a lot of people. They might be emotionally intelligent but they don't know how to grow their emotional intelligence, if that makes sense. They might have a baseline and they might be aware, but what's after? Self awareness, self growth?

Speaker 1: 36:16

Right. How do you go beyond that?

Speaker 2: 36:20

I mean self acceptance. Before the self growth, I mean self aware. Well, yeah, before all that, it's self acceptance. How are they accepting themselves? They accept themselves enough to read something or figure something new out? Yep, all right, now I know, unless I learned money management is emotional.

Speaker 1: 36:44

Do tell All right.

Speaker 2: 36:45

For instance right, let's say one big thing is this. Let's say I stay up all all night. Let's say I stayed up over the time. I need to stay up. I get up at the same time at five AM in the morning I would sleep at like at one. What am I going to try to get an energy drink Right If I drink? Let's say I'd be. I used to smash like two energy drinks a day. That's like what? Six, six, that's $180. I'm losing a month on just energy drinks because I picked myself in the mood. The neat one. All right, let's say even with a smoking habit. Let's say I smoke, okay, but I know when I'm more stressed I get more. I smoke more. I'm going to do that. All right. Let's say even with food. When I'm stressed I go out and eat. I find like a comfort food. Let's go to brunch. You know what I mean Right.

Speaker 2: 37:37

But I know in long run this is going to mess with me up financially, Right? Or if I feel like this person, let's say I'm in a fleeting relationship. This relationship definitely about the end. They got all the characteristics of the end, but I'm trying to make it better by spending more money and time with them, yeah. Or like it can be even simple, Like do you really need to buy anything other than groceries? Do you really need? To? Like, also, they found out? Let's say, you know you have a cheat meal and stuff for working out. If you don't have a cheat meal, it's most likely you're going to eat craze. You're just going to binge back eventually. Right, Right, Right. But the same thing with, like, self-care entertainment. It's better to spend, invest $100 and rejuvenate yourself and then one day breaking down and needing to pay thousands.

Speaker 1: 38:40

So instead of I guess saying that that's emotional intelligence, I would probably just say it's like financial negligence.

Speaker 2: 38:50

There you go. Yeah, financial negligence. But also you got to attach yourself to a goal too. That's how I realized emotionally you have to attach yourself to a goal and I can say I can give praise to like a bunch of ladies in like the city and around the world. So many there's gonna be like lady bosses who know how to attach themselves emotionally to a goal and hit it. But as a man, a lot of times we think too logically, we don't think we have everything enough to succeed, so we don't do it. But they figure it out. But if I attach myself emotionally to it I'll have more energy to do it. We ever really really love somebody and you doing things right after work that you know usually you'll be too tired to do for yourself. But why can't you do that for your dreams? Because you're not emotionally attached.

Speaker 1: 39:42

And then it's probably like a. It is that, but it's also a different motivational force, Exactly.

Speaker 2: 39:48

So what are your motivations, financially too?

Speaker 1: 39:56

I couldn't answer that question beyond what you right now. So I definitely, I definitely know it's a different motivational force, for sure.

Speaker 2: 40:11

But yeah, just don't put yourself in the situation. It was the psychology of money. The book the psychology of money goes over. I thought it was going to be like a logic thing, but really it's a whole book about how you put yourself in these emotional situations and you just spend money because you kind of feel like you need to.

Speaker 1: 40:33

Yeah, um, reckless. Yeah, I'm trying to think of different terms, but it's definitely just financial negligence and recklessness. The law, sense of worthiness and work.

Speaker 2: 40:57

How do we get? How do you think we get worthiness?

Speaker 1: 41:02

Because apparently that's now, that's that's, that's deep.

Speaker 2: 41:06

Apparently, some people are starting off with the worthiness that takes us a decade to get, but as teenagers, how do we get the audacity to ask for more Because you don't get what you want, you don't get what you deserve. Like to get what you, you asked for.

Speaker 1: 41:23

You probably have to mute your mic. Could you repeat that please, jamar?

Speaker 2: 41:30

I said, um, oh, my God, I just lost things. So why? So? Why is it like that? People, let's say, in different cultures, already have the audacity to want more, but we feel so guilty for decades to finally ask for the same thing they're asking for in their early 20s.

Speaker 1: 41:51

They have a sense of community, togetherness, self validation, which is also within their community environment, family values and traditions. We don't really have that, nor do we honor it. So in terms of worthiness, it's often not seen, acknowledged, considered, because we put our worth in designer and shoes and clothes. And what other people think of us? Because we don't really think of ourselves. So to me, that one's definitely deeper. I think it, in order to even touch on that conversation, we probably need some psychologists and some therapy, because that's deep, that's deep, uh, wow. Yeah, I can't even speak on that one because I know that that's, that's internal.

Speaker 2: 42:58

So, yeah, I think it's um what was something called like self image.

Speaker 1: 43:04

Uh huh.

Speaker 2: 43:07

It's your self image, and like your self image is not like what you think of yourself or what other people think of yourself. It's what you think that other people think about yourself about yourself.

Speaker 1: 43:17

Mm, hmm.

Speaker 2: 43:18

If that makes sense. So it's what your perception of what their perception is of you.

Speaker 1: 43:24

Of you, which is problematic though, because does it, does it matter? I mean, it matters, but does it matter if that makes sense, like what do you think of yourself, how do you feel about yourself, how do you walk your own authority?

Speaker 2: 43:43

That's true. Um, I bought things like. The whole thing we got we got to accept too is that we're all social beings. That's why I had to accept we're a social animal, so we got to. We got to stop fighting the need to need other people and start cooperating with other people. That's just my belief, though.

Speaker 1: 44:08

Yeah, yeah Expressions, because everybody, in one way or another, want to be her, want to be involved, want to be included. Um yeah, even as introverts, like even if I'm show up, they write me.

Speaker 2: 44:26

There you go. Um, what was it? You just remind me of my, um, the little imagery I wanted to give out at the beginning with introverts. Like you said, there's not just introvert, extrovert, it's a whole um, it's a scale, it's like a whole meter, it's a spectrum. There it is.

Speaker 1: 44:43

Right.

Speaker 2: 44:45

So, like the whole, the big difference too with the spectrum is we still have a social cup. I say like, but your social cup when you're extrovert is like a picture. A gallon picture takes a little, a lot more, but your social cup as an introvert can be a shock, mm hmm, it's a little bit I like you Right For sure.

Speaker 1: 45:07

Oh wow, let's see what the comments are.

Speaker 2: 45:15

Traditionally, you will get your sense of work from your father. Hmm, Hmm. Hmm.

Speaker 1: 45:22

That that might say a lot for what.

Speaker 2: 45:26

Kyle, that is. That's interesting. I have a great list with my parents, but I definitely think I get minds from my own father and late grandfather. Hmm, so with fatherless homes, hmm. That's why I said, oh, you need some again, some there 1980s and 1990s, black culture mass amount of individuals abandoned the family, the village family concept.

Speaker 1: 45:55

I'd agree, I would agree.

Speaker 2: 45:59

Yeah, that's so true, damn, and I think it does take a village. It takes a village for adults and takes a village for kids. At this moment, we all need a village.

Speaker 1: 46:12

How do we get it we?

Speaker 2: 46:15

need. We need village leaders who often buy, like creative culture, from themes and, but in similar behavior, and similar behavior comes with similar beliefs.

Speaker 1: 46:33

Hmm, the? I think one of the issues is the fact that we have the entertainers for the most part raising the children, raising the adults, even. Hmm, we do we even seek out philosophers? Hmm, do we do we seek out, like actual teachers, like the old school I got the old community teacher, the people who did used to leave we look to, we look towards people of. It's not academia, but like again, like basketball, sport, anything sports related. We don't really look towards anything that would benefit us in the long run. We we want quick satisfaction, quick results, quickness in general. We have like a fast food logic and that's how we develop and it's sad, but I think that's the reality of it. So I don't really know how we would get the village back.

Speaker 2: 47:46

I think we just got to. We got to find one. We have to create a tribe, then the tribe can create a village.

Speaker 1: 47:57

I would agree. You definitely got to do background checks on those who we say are a part of the tribe, because they can't just be a part of the tribe because, oh, you know, I'm a little bit familiar with them. I like them. Okay, what about them? Like what's their? What's their past life? Like what they? What would they not their past life? But they what they used to do, what they got into. I need to know about them before I allowed them around Children, other other adults, whomever, because we all have our triggers. We all have some some things that like it's not deemed acceptable to a degree. So everything has to be assessed. It's a lot that goes into that. I mean, what was the last, I guess like innocent village kind of thing that we had with, like the Black Panther Party? I don't know if anything came, happened after that, but who's doing that anymore?

Speaker 2: 48:53

Nobody. It's kind of like you, you get, you get your money, you dip off and you trick. You know like, right, right, you go, trick right. But like there are billionaires who do invest like into schools and stuff like that, but we don't, we rarely seen it and we only really see what they promote negatively in the media and we don't. At this point I'm getting I'm getting to realize that some of us don't even realize those are negative behaviors, which is fun, and whatever is fun I guess is is okay.

Speaker 1: 49:31

And it's put out there for a reason.

Speaker 2: 49:34

She's right. I think we should pick up from where things been left off. The government saw certain leaders as threats, and rightfully so for them. We're all different, but a lot of answers are definitely found within those who are no longer with us.

Speaker 1: 49:49

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 49:49

Absolutely. Oh my God, that's a great, that's a great insight, like like just read, also like reading books, like have you read James Baldwin books, the Malcolm X books, the Martin Luther King books, the black Panther books, like all these different books that that go that back into like 1800s, of things like that.

Speaker 1: 50:10

I don't think many of us are reading those things. We have to. And it's so close the current now it's almost as if we are dealing with slavery 2.0, without the physical shackles but the mental shackles. So, in order for us to free ourselves of this imprisonment, we have to literally want to read, want the knowledge, because that is really what's going to free us, and I know everyone's not biblical, spiritual or whatever, but you know, my people perish from my lack of knowledge. Do we? Do we want to be free?

Speaker 2: 50:48

I think it's, we don't see the benefits of being free right now. We think we are free. That's probably it. We're only free because someone told us we're free. You're only beautiful because someone told you you're beautiful. The only wealthy. Because someone told you you're wealthy. You only have worth because someone else found worth, and you.

Speaker 1: 51:13

But what about the self worth and that acknowledgement of again?

Speaker 2: 51:17

so yeah, like how do you make? That's another thing, like branching off is like how do you dictate worth?

Speaker 1: 51:32

Um daily habits like what do you do, how do you invest in cells? How do you honor yourself, what do you do? And I think those are important questions that actually so like what do I do to honor me?

Speaker 2: 51:52

That's I mean. What do you do?

Speaker 1: 51:55

As for me, as for what I do, I tend to do my best to eat. Well, I read labels to see what is going inside of my body and on my body. Being that, though, I know that the skin is the largest organ on, and then, when it comes to the internal, okay, we're gonna see what she says.

Speaker 2: 52:25

I personally get invigorated by all the videos I watch on YouTube the Malcolm X interviews, learning more about who we, p Newton I got to learn more, so on and so forth, and we are too distracted. Now I chose to watch the videos I mentioned prior, but that has to compete with cheap thrill content like arguments about silly things, like tricking I'm doing, I think. Tricking to what?

Speaker 1: 52:51

Yes, I will absolutely second that. I'm definitely mindful of what I pay attention to. You dictate. You dictate worth based on the value you provide. Hmm, break that down, kyle.

Speaker 2: 53:06

We got, he got bars tonight.

Speaker 1: 53:08

Break that down.

Speaker 2: 53:10

Break it down. Give me something. Break it down, yes, read them. Labels show on. So I've been doing. I've been doing like this miss fit market market thing. So what they do is they give you all organic fruits but they're like weird sizes Mm hmm. But my body feels so great from eating all organic Mm hmm. It's a different type. It's like my cells have oxygen and my body can breathe. It is the weirdest thing ever.

Speaker 1: 53:37

I'm less stressed, I can, I'm more tolerant, I'm able to focus more and like it's truly beneficial, even when it comes to me if we still eat meat, I do, but in terms of eating grass feed in comparison to those that they bought up with GMO's and all types of just Harmful agents that they like hey, you gonna buy it anyway. Yeah it's. It's horrifying when you see the Numerous ways in which they are attempting to poison us. Is it's really mass genocide but we ignored? Because, again, I'm not kind of feel like it is Desensitization I keep getting stuck on that word and I'm upset, but it's definitely bad. Um, we, just we keep trying to make it and survive.

Speaker 2: 54:34

I got a rebel. I got a rebuttal from your, uh your brother, market thing, no labels ain't good if the market is controlled. Okay, if the market is controlled.

Speaker 1: 54:48

And I wasn't saying that the blame of black people condition is solely on black people at all. I could never say that. I definitely know that the systemic come and there's definitely systemic, systematic and intentional. So I could never say that we Are the cause, but I could definitely say that we enable it. We definitely do yeah, I have to say that.

Speaker 2: 55:18

You can see really healthy stuff have some faults and it does. I mean at this point, like our. I know one lady that she was where. She was African and Italian. She was over here on a visa. So she's still over here on the visa, um, and she was telling me like the food in Italy is different and she got acne from eating food the same food over here and, I believe, over there.

Speaker 1: 55:51

I would say I have to agree. Uh, it's for me because I cannot consume Mexican food over here, but when I actually went to Mexico, no, I could, I could eat it. It was adjustable. So I definitely think it's different. I don't know how different, but Different.

Speaker 2: 56:12

But, with that being said, we're gonna go on the positive note here, but we're gonna go to like all right, guys, what are your plans for 2024? And how are you gonna break the cycle of doing the same thing every year and saying you're gonna do better next year? That is my preference for this next part.

Speaker 1: 56:37

We need a resolution. There's been so much confusion. We're at the lia ads, okay.

Speaker 2: 56:41

Um.

Speaker 1: 56:42

Yeah, anyone want to answer that, or tomorrow, you want to answer that first. What do you?

Speaker 2: 56:46

know, I know my first one is this so, um, my book is so One. My resolution is to learn more skills Than to actually worry about healing at this moment. It's a hundred. So I word so much about self growth. Self-help books is the addiction I realize. You're addicted to reading them. They make you feel good, they be like oh my god, this is so great love attraction, blah, blah, blah. It feels so good for the possibilities of somehow manifesting a different life. Right, it's euphoria. It's like Narnia, almost like somehow you're going to go in a closet, you're gonna slip and you, you in a different world when you a hero. That's how I thought I'm starting to realize. But so I stopped purchasing books. What more? Let's say um Steps in it, more um practical steps. I got right here. Eight, second PR.

Speaker 2: 57:45

And it literally is from a lady who's been like a representation on all the major um news networks and everything like that. She teaches you how to pretty much Get PR For yourself and advocate yourself, how to write letters and do all the practical stuff. I think we as a people need to start worrying about all the healing parts and He'll while we, while we're building, if that makes sense. I think we're trying to heal first and then build later, and I think that's inauthentic.

Speaker 1: 58:16

Yeah, I think we should absolutely be a little bit like the organic fruits and in beddies, like let Let people join you on this journey of becoming well.

Speaker 2: 58:31

Absolutely. I'm full of cooperation. This year I'm realizing like cooperation is actually make, magnifying my goals and my results. You know I mean and mine, mine is going to be accountability and correction for myself.

Speaker 1: 58:44

Um, that way I have uh discernment when it comes to others, like Are you a person of accountability and correction that mean that I can work with you for sure. There you go.

Speaker 2: 58:58

I know you said one of your things that you want to do a podcast or you want to do something.

Speaker 1: 59:02

Yeah, um, I want to do a podcast. Um, I initially I was going to uh, call it we are not dead, but we are dying, but my brother said it was too dark. It was too dark and although it's an attention grabber, um, a lot of people would like this. That's too heavy, uh, but I feel, I felt as though it met us exactly where we are. I like it. It kind of sparks emotional.

Speaker 2: 59:23

Right, it makes you on. It actually makes me want to watch. So if you, want um, definitely connect with me. I'll give you my number. I'm off the whole week but if you want time I can give you a resource to one of the One of the courses I purchased. It goes over every week courses I purchased. It goes over everything from video production to um To everything that you may be over over uh, thank you.

Speaker 1: 59:49

Okay, I will definitely definitely catch up after this to further discuss, for sure, because I think you can do it right, because we are typically Emotionally drawn people.

Speaker 1: 1:00:00

Again, a lot of times we Click on things that is for shock value, that does you know? Wow, what, what, what they discussing? What's that about? What she mean by that? And I feel like it created this unnecessary discussion, this discourse. That is healthy, mindful of where we are present and how do we get the solution that we're looking for. And that's what I want to do, and I want involvement, of course. So I I don't want to just be oh, I'm all on the right and I'm the only one speaker. Again, a counter to a correction is what I'm looking for. So, um, I'm definitely willing to hear other people's side. That's just who I am.

Speaker 1: 1:00:36

However, I want us to come up with solutions that make Sense that we pretty much all adapt to get on the court with. There's no reason again that we should be spending 1.6 trillion a year's black people and somehow being as broke as we are as individuals. It just does not make any sense. So we are not dead, but we are dying, um, and we are being enablers of our own demise, and we can change that trajectory If we so choose to, but if we continue to go the route in which we're going, with some of us making it just like and I'm a fan of jay-z, but however, when he talked about um, I told him look around, homie is plenty of us. As far as how many of us are Actually doing well and wealthy, it's not plenty of us. Uh, the higher that you continue to ride, the less likely you are to see people that look like you.

Speaker 2: 1:01:27

So absolutely.

Speaker 1: 1:01:28

So if you want those who look like you to also rise, you have to Be like harry and go back and get them. So if they decide that they want to turn back around and not be saved what she said I kill you.

Speaker 1: 1:01:41

That's why you're not about to mess up. You're not about to infiltrate. You're not about to put all of us in jeopardy because of your fear. If you were scared and you should have stayed on that sidewalk and stayed where you were comfortable at. But it's time to have those uncomfortable conversations so we can what grow in discomfort.

Speaker 2: 1:01:59

Absolutely. I really I agree wholeheartedly. Um, that's why, like with the mentee, I think the mentee thing is super like, super important for you too is Once you start making it, and that's when you should have a mentee. I remember I was hanging out with some people, like in miami, and one biggest thing is this it's one person Um, he's the person who was in charge of the whole conference, but he has mentees who are 21 to 25 and what he's doing for them is he's helping them build skill sets. And with these skill sets, he's not just like all right, just work for me. You know he's doing. He's taking these mentees and then making them work for big names like B, simone and these other really really large people, and actually get their name out there.

Speaker 1: 1:02:47

And it's also about, like, how can you connect You're people with these people, but they have to build a skill set first right before they began, of course, um, and I think that that's absolutely powerful and important, based off of the fact that um Networking is, is key. Networking is so necessary in order for us to get to the next level. So that speaks to me. In my own profession, it's an oversaturated field, so I must exhaust myself and those who I serve to gain what I feel I deserve. Indeed, Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 1:03:20

It's not even about how. It's not always about how good you are I believe there's always gonna be someone better than you, but it's who who they see the most. So like, all right, let's say what do? What would, uh, if I wanted my food to be more spicy? What would I put on my food?

Speaker 1: 1:03:38

Maybe some cayenne pepper.

Speaker 2: 1:03:40

But there is like a hundreds of different ways to spice your food up and you thought about that. But for illustration, um, that's what it is Like. Your first thing you think about is that, because that's what you're, um, that's what you know the most, you got to become. What people know the most is what I'm realizing. You are already good enough, you're just not known enough to be called. Hmm. You don't have a track record yet. That's my other lesson from two creating a track record. You already know how to do a bunch of stuff, you just aren't doing it enough to have a track record and be known to do it. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop thinking too much and just do it absolutely.

Speaker 2: 1:04:27

And the thing is is like it's. I'm really I'm gonna be harping on self-help books all year. I'm like your self-help books Don't always work if you keep reading, if you just keep reading them, do nothing when they're absolutely useless. You might as well not even read the damn book. All this to say is it creates that I'm gonna stop thinking too much and just do it. It makes you think too much.

Speaker 1: 1:04:49

I think also what, um, mr Rodney said with the I'm gonna stop thinking and just do. You know why you're gonna have to, because either way, you're getting the results of your actions, of what it is that you're doing. So if you just thinking a lot, you just sitting on your thoughts, you're getting the results of that, like, oh, I'm just thinking, I'm just in thought, um, once you start doing, you get the results of what it is that you're doing.

Speaker 1: 1:05:15

The more it is someone goes to the gym and actually actively works out, eat better and things like that, the more that their body starts to work and perform optimally, uh, it max it. It will maximize on that potential in which you're investing for it to do so. Naturally, come on what you are calling for to do, because you're you're showing, showing that, that action, so yeah, Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 1:05:43

By the way, she said you should have said luck. Wrong answer cayenne pepper should have been lost in the sauce, hot sauce. I got my whole hot sauce. You on the back. Oh wait, wait, I'll get your whole hand. I was like, all right, no, but where I need it, she right, listen to about that one. And shayana says she loved your name.

Speaker 1: 1:06:10

Oh, thank you so much. I love your name. I was trying to figure out how to pronounce it, that's why I didn't want to say it.

Speaker 2: 1:06:15

No, I mean, I think she's talking about an answer your podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:06:18

Oh, okay, sweet oh, which is, um, we are not dead, but we are dying. Thank you so much. I'm thinking about it still, so it's gonna be in like the top three. I have the other ones like. The second one is let's talk about it, because, again, it's something to talk about. Lta, I, um, and then the other one. The third one is the importance of singleness. That's a book that I'm actually currently writing. Uh, I've been writing it for some time now. However, I don't really think that that has to be like the name of the podcast, because this is for married people as well. However, I want them to also know the importance of Self, what it is that you want your desires as well, and not just, oh, the desires of my meat, the desires of me being a mother. You know what about you, because you matter as well.

Speaker 2: 1:07:07

I think singleness might be an attractive name only because I think solitude might be the right word for it possibly possibly because solitude is when you're.

Speaker 2: 1:07:16

When you're, we're saying what it says lonely and lonely and solitude are two different things. Solitude is just being alone, but on a mission, that's what it says to me. When someone's like I'm in, I'm in, I'm, uh, I'm isolated, or I'm, I'm into a position of being In solitude, I'm like all right, we're on a mission, they're doing something, but being lonely, you just there, you're like dang, I ain't got no friends, is given.

Speaker 1: 1:07:45

So it might be less talk about it. I might actually consider what it is. And my brother was saying um, I don't know, because I don't think everybody is Knows that we are not doing, but we are dying. Um, and I don't. I don't want them to pretty much harp on the name as much as I want to just talk about it, like let's, let's have conversations, oh so I tend to doubt my.

Speaker 2: 1:08:09

I think I think that's a good idea, bro. I think um and I can show you the fiber connects I got some fiber connects you can get your whole situation right. Um, I tend to doubt myself the more I think. And that's In our. It's another lesson I learned. It's called the confidence Um, the confidence loop. Right, one side of loop is action and the other one is um. Part of it is validation, and then the other part of a loop is gaining confidence. So through your actions you gain. Through your actions you get results, and then you get Validation from those results. Then you get confidence. But while action, you will never get confidence.

Speaker 1: 1:08:53

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:08:56

And unless you do, the less you do, the less confidence you get. That's why it's important to not be isolated. You know what I mean. All right, oh yeah, and that pot in the podcast. But your name too, as well minds pronounced she, shea onna. I'm trying to shout Don't gain that imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 1:09:25

Don't that's right, tell them. And it's shea, onna, I'm seeing it correctly, right?

Speaker 2: 1:09:32

Let me ask I think I got it right here. You can be gonna do this again.

Speaker 1: 1:09:36

I mean, if it's Shayana, then that's definitely gonna be memorable because I'm Brianna, so I got that.

Speaker 2: 1:09:43

And Kyle said my goal for this year is to increase my skill intensity. What does that mean?

Speaker 1: 1:09:50

Intensely or intensity.

Speaker 2: 1:09:52

I think it's intensely intentionally. I don't know.

Speaker 1: 1:09:57

But what do you mean by that?

Speaker 2: 1:10:02

And then we got never, never. What else is I'm gonna finish? I'm finishing my first book. My editor needed time with her kids so I gave her like seven more days of relax with her kids. So I'm at my book cover part. I'm at the book cover part. It was way harder to finish my damn cover. I'm like God dang, hurry up. But I want to write my next book. I'm trying to write before Valentine's Day and launch it a week before Valentine's Day.

Speaker 2: 1:10:31

It's gonna be a book. It's gonna be like a what they call a journal, right? It's a lot of ums. Well, you were, you write down how you feel as an introvert to get to a gift to someone as Like it's like a journal gift, but like for a loved one, our spouse. So I have like 52 writing prompts and there's gonna be affirmations and it's gonna be something just to give your spouse or your loved one, just to be like, hey, this is how I feel in all these situations. I just wish I could tell you these things Because I honestly believe a lot of us are so distracted that we're not near our spouses Because of work, because the other responsibility is you don't get time to have those meaningful connections and conversations, so just to add to them and, you know, hopefully get a news interview for For the book release.

Speaker 1: 1:11:19

That's really interesting as well. They spoke back that for 2022, I said that my book of the year with all the books that I do read my book of the year for 2022 was a writing prompt that I had got from bottom below. It's not the fact that the book was asking me about me, and instead of me reading about other people's experiences and History lessons and all types of things, I was finally able to write about Me, and that was so important about it. We come this by day.

Speaker 1: 1:11:47

I don't never do I talk to me like outside and just talking to myself, like I'm fake, interviewing the stuff. Do I actually, you know, go back and see how I felt about myself during this time? And what a Certain prompt, or whatever it will say, how did I feel about answering that question? And I thought that was so important. I think a lot of people Need to invest in a book that acts as dumb about them, because who are you? Who's are you, why are you and where are you? And I like and I think that those are some important questions to be asked and be answered, especially by no other than the author of some your own life, which is you.

Speaker 2: 1:12:23

Oh.

Speaker 1: 1:12:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:12:25

I like that. I like that I Got. So I got a writing coach right now. So I got a writing mentor Name Jessica Meryl. She actually also gives up. She gives out 15,000 plus books in Africa every year and stuff like that too. What she got me on, I got. I can't show you the book I got. It's actually holding up my mic, not my mic stand, my, my camera stand at this moment, but it's called ready set plan. Then right, and she gave the book to me for free and what it does is it helps you structure your whole high content book so you can write it. What allowed me to do is I wrote my book, my rough draft, in two weeks. Oh, Wow.

Speaker 2: 1:13:11

So once you know how to structure any plan, once you plan it, you write it. It's easy, mm-hmm. So you break down a chapter, the name of the chapter, with the folks the chapter is, and then you just add supporting content and those supported content is just sections and details you're gonna hit and then the bottom is gonna be a key takeaways. So how you gonna summarize it? Okay and that's how you literally write a book. That's all the book is.

Speaker 1: 1:13:42

What about the novels?

Speaker 2: 1:13:44

those is like that's not, that's, that's fiction. But the novels you really got a crate world building and stuff like that too. I Think memoirs might be a little easier to write to.

Speaker 1: 1:14:00

Possibly.

Speaker 2: 1:14:02

I don't know about no knobs. I don't want to write nothing, nothing like.

Speaker 1: 1:14:07

I'm not, I'm not doing with the stars at all.

Speaker 2: 1:14:12

Boy them Jones gonna sell like hotcakes on Amazon for real.

Speaker 1: 1:14:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:14:16

Yeah, I got a couple other book ideas. Like I'm learning how to read the market more too. That's another thing. So all business another thing I learned last year all business is Is having an offer Right and then having and then getting leads for those offers, which is crazy. Like if I can lift a thousand pounds and 30 minutes, I want to lift 5,000 pounds in the same timeframe. Okay, they working out Very well. Thanks, bro. Love letter and self-reflection oh, my god, I'm reading it All right. So a private chat, right, y'all ain't seen these. Okay, they just having a good time in private chat either, or? Um? But another goal is I want to travel more.

Speaker 2: 1:15:13

I think I really want to replace all my income, my active income, I just all of it. I'll say 50% of my active income. I want to replace it with more passive income. So I'm gonna get more on the author's scenes. I have like four or five books actually pre-planned already. If you guys have any ideas, let me get them.

Speaker 2: 1:15:31

Ideas, um, well, that's pretty much it with that. And then hot sauce. I kind of want to look into getting a cold packer and I want to mainstream my hot sauce. I want to fix my credit. Um, I just got a high credit. I have high credit usage just because of this year, and some things did not go my way because I didn't build the skills. So I made a lot of bad mistakes because I did not build my skill set. So, with that being said, guys, build your skill set, you know? I mean I think one one thing, um, I can go back on one lesson I want to talk about that I learned over the last year.

Speaker 2: 1:16:14

Two was this Y'all know I'm out here being single on shit, right, I'm out here being single on shit Living. Learn, thank you. Um. But one victory was this like, romantically, I realized there was a type of person I was trying to date and it wasn't going to actually be the type of person that would actually grow with me. And I think I talked about karmic cycle at the beginning of this, and here's the message You're going to keep going through the same thing until you learn a lesson.

Speaker 2: 1:16:43

If someone's showing you, if someone's showing you, like the who they're going to be From their actions and how they reflect on life, like, how does that person reflect on On, like, how life is treating them? What are their actions when, when the bill is short. How do they Help? You know? I mean, this is a message to guys too. You guys got to have more self-worth when dating. So many guys are willing to take anything. I'm just saying that right now, and we got to stop doing that. So power to the boys.

Speaker 2: 1:17:18

If you feel as though People find success attractive, right. So what you need to do is just, please just become Successful enough that you attract the people. You know what I mean. At the end of the day, like someone's gonna be like yo, he's got his stuff going, he's moving forward and they're gonna notice you by your actions. So I'm trying to just be like I hope they love you unconditionally. I don't really. I really don't believe that men are loved unconditionally. You got to check it off.

Speaker 2: 1:17:49

If you're unhealthy, no one wants to be. What unhealthy do? I think we all got to get out this weird concept that people need to accept this for who we are and they accept us. We need to accept ourselves from we are first and then grow from that. Like no one wants to be with a stale partner. Yeah, you know what I mean. But Anyways, rihanna brine, any other things you want to get at before we end this, this episode will also be on Um, my podcast me don't get a podcast on all podcast networks. It will stream this stream on youtube and I will. What else do? I might even make this a blog post. I want to thank rihanna. I want to thank um brine for being stars of this really appreciate. I want to thank shiana. I want to thank the other briana that was in the comments. I want to thank rotney. I want to thank my brother kyle for making amazing um points. And you know, come on pasta.

Speaker 1: 1:18:53

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2: 1:18:55

No problem. Thank you all for coming. If you ever want to come by, I usually do this. This is the last time we do it on mondays. It's gonna most likely be saturday afternoons, um, because my schedule is about to change that work. So Thank you, thank you, thank you. Anyway, guys, have a great one.