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It’s Medium Ghetto
Intelligent, hood conversations, so why don’t come hang with the gang
Relatable topics, form coming up broke to the nonsense that all come along with these dames
From trust funds to trappin’, we cover it all, and with laughter
So, why don’t you come grab you a seat
From o’s to Othello, you know that we Medium Ghetto, and nothing can even compete
Outro Lyrics
It’s Medium Ghetto
And we thank y...
Support the Medium Ghetto Movement
Funds allow us to consistently create great content.
We also have a vision of "Medium Ghetto Game Nights" in a city near you.
Message of us for topics and possible guest appearance.
Follow us on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/mediumghettopodcast/
Sponsor
Lost in The Sauce Hot Sauce Company
https://www.instagram.com/lostinthesauce_llc/
https://lostinthesauce.store/
Co-Host IG
Britt Carter
@miritheVirgo
Lyrics
Intro Lyrics
It’s Medium Ghetto
Intelligent, hood conversations, so why don’t come hang with the gang
Relatable topics, form coming up broke to the nonsense that all come along with these dames
From trust funds to trappin’, we cover it all, and with laughter
So, why don’t you come grab you a seat
From o’s to Othello, you know that we Medium Ghetto, and nothing can even compete
Outro Lyrics
It’s Medium Ghetto
And we thank y...
Welcome to the Medium Ghetto Podcast with your host, jamar. Today we're going to be talking about privilege Do you ever feel guilty? About privilege and different types of. We're going to be discussing different types of privileges on here if they're good or bad, because a lot of people will be privileged. We got some guests here today. Who do we got here? You can probably read it down there, but can introduce yourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my name is Kendall. I host or co-host as the culture turns. I live stream on Twitch at Afro Mortis. I'm on Instagram, all that stuff.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, so y'all, it's me Naya. I also am on, or, as the culture turns, as a co-host as well, and I also I'm also working on my own podcast as well.
Speaker 1:All right, that's dope. What is it called?
Speaker 3:Kingdom illustrations.
Speaker 1:What is it about?
Speaker 3:Somewhere, it's something that y'all wouldn't be wanting to be on, All right, so basically I'm just playing.
Speaker 1:You got me intrigued now.
Speaker 3:Nah, it's not one of them, it's actually it's very like it's very holy. So that's not very holy, but basically it's me interpreting the Bible and also real life instance and then like mushing them together and just having like open discussions like this and getting people on here talking about stuff like real stuff basically, but we're incorporating the Bible or also like just talking about our struggles, our tribulations and stuff like that, and yeah, that's it. It's something that you probably don't think is fun.
Speaker 1:I mean, I used to be a Bible thumper. I still believe in God.
Speaker 3:Would you call yourself a Bible thumper?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man.
Speaker 3:Okay, we don't want to say nothing else. Kandell don't want to hear that.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I love hearing about it, I love it. He just like you know no problem here about religion.
Speaker 3:He likes to tear us down about it, that's okay, we just have.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't tear down religious people. I love religious people. I just think that a lot of them are a little delusional.
Speaker 1:All right, enough with the little calm, let's get right to it, right?
Speaker 2:Let's go. I'm here for you.
Speaker 1:How would you both define privilege in your own context?
Speaker 2:You can take that first, naya. I mean, I can go first if you want me to. But, yeah, just go first. Okay, cool. So to put it super different, simply and by simply I mean not simply at all Privilege is, like it's, a horribly misunderstood concept. Privilege is not the idea that your entire life has been easy. It does not mean that you are so advantaged that nothing can affect you. It simply means that you have some advantage over other people, whether that's your able-bodied, whether you are a cisgender person, whether you are heterosexual, whether you're white. All of these different things can contribute to what we can consider privilege, and all it really means, like I said, is that you have some advantage over another group one way or another.
Speaker 1:I like it Naya.
Speaker 3:That's definitely a good answer and I was definitely going to touch base on it as well, because I feel like when I think about privilege, I think about white. That's how I look at privilege, like I don't see any other nationality when I see privilege. But he did make a good point Disabled people and different things like that. I guess they have some privileges, which they should, because they're not able to do certain things that we're not able to do. So I can understand why they may have the upper hand, but definitely I feel like when I think about privilege it's definitely white or woman sometimes.
Speaker 1:And add on to disability. They can park a lot closer.
Speaker 2:Dang. Okay, that's not the direction I was going. So what I meant by that is that if you don't have any disabilities, you have the privilege of having an able-bodied. That's what I mean. I don't mean that disabled people getting a handicapped parking spot means they have privilege, like that's not what. That means they have to trade a lot to even qualify for a handicapped spot.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I was just clarifying. So is privilege like negative, inherently negative?
Speaker 2:No. So my thing is that privilege is never a negative thing. Privilege is always a positive thing. It's just a matter of what you do with it. That determines how people feel about it Whether you acknowledge and recognize your privilege and then use that to try and serve and uplift those who don't have the same advantages, or you choose to ignore the fact that you have privileges and continue living in your own bubble while ignoring the problems of others. That's what makes it bad.
Speaker 1:Any examples.
Speaker 2:So, for example, the easiest example would be white people talking about police brutality.
Speaker 2:When white people are like, oh well, I don't really see like a need to restructure policing, I don't think we need to make any changes to how police works or the justice system, and it's like, okay, well, you're probably not one of the people that's being targeted by the injustice side of things.
Speaker 2:You're probably one of the people who has the advantage or experience of getting pulled over and thinking, man, I'm going to be late to work, versus being a black person who gets pulled over and you're like oh man, am I going to get home today? And then to extend that to another easy one, like being able-bodied, you don't understand how much of a privilege it is to be able to see or to be able to hear or to like touch things with your own limbs. So oftentimes you can ignore the fact that blind people even exist. We can ignore that deaf people exist, and then when someone says, hey, we should learn like American Sign Language or teach that in schools, somebody who ignores their privilege might be like why? Why do we have to like even bother acknowledging that and the entire population of deaf people or even hard of hearing. People who benefit from it are just being ignored and then pushed to the side, which is how we end up with marginalized communities.
Speaker 1:Underrepresented people.
Speaker 2:There are a lot of other groups too.
Speaker 1:Just never having a voice and because they're going through stuff and they don't say it, it's not on. Mainstream People don't think it exists. That's great. What about you, Nye?
Speaker 3:They clapping in the background for the Phillies. So I was just like, eh, okay. So for me, how I feel, I think it is an advantage, you know, because I don't feel like you know, I don't really get to see. I think that people take advantage of their privilege, but I think at the same time it is an advantage to be privileged, because I can't speak for that and I'm not being too hard, I'm just, I'm black, indian, right, so it's like I'm more black. Somebody's going to look at me as a black person. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So like I don't really get no privileges, like I don't feel privileged, unless it's, like I guess, against the opposite sex sometimes, I guess.
Speaker 3:But other than that, I just feel like people take advantage of their privilege because, like you said, we're going to be the most black people are going to be the top people. That's going to get stopped by our cop. Like we're going to get pulled over before a white person get pulled over, we're going to get hassled before a white person we're going to get. It's more like a race thing to me when I think about privilege, because all my life and growing up in the hood, you see privileged stuff. You see that we're living in an impoverished communities and stuff like that and we're not getting the same treatment as others, especially even in the school districts, like you see, like we can be a private school, like if you want to. I never went to Chester High, but I remember hearing the stories like it was like three or four people sharing a book, right, because that's that black school district, I think that was like 07, though I wouldn't lie.
Speaker 1:That was my sister grade, yeah, but I don't know 07.
Speaker 3:For example, we're 07 there, then 07 at Cardinal Hair. They ain't sharing no books. You get what I'm saying Because it's like and people donate and give financial funding to you know different types of schools and different types of communities and I felt like there is privilege aspects in a lot of stuff I do. I really do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it is privileged too, like I even see it.
Speaker 1:I see that work too. We can talk about it more. But like privilege to me is, I don't think it's inherently negative, but I think if you ignore it and you don't realize it's there, it's kind of like the people who be like I don't see color, yeah, I mean it's it, feel like I don't see privilege. I hate what people be like. I don't see privilege. I don't see, I don't see unfairness on this. Like at work, you might think, oh, because she's a, you might have unconscious privilege, but you might be because she's a woman. She's not the boss in the office you know what I'm saying. Or if she's typing, you must, she must be the assistant of some sort, or she isn't good at a tech job, and not just women are like oh, he must be. He's dressed in like orange vest, he must be like a janitor or like an instruction worker or like just stuff like that we don't even think about. Or what else? Oh, my favorite, you remember this guy? He must, he's tall, he must play basketball.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just like basic stereotyping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, basic stereotyping is when I think it can get negative. But I honestly think like privileges, if you like, if you, if you look at making me positive too, we all got privileges. I believe in black privilege, I believe in, I believe in like other privileges that benefit me too. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what I would ask for that is like I've heard. I've heard black privilege thrown around a lot and for the most part when I hear it like when when I hear people say it it's typically white people saying that black people can get away with being racist Against, like white people Is there something that you would? Consider Like do you think that's a fair like assessment?
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, so I work in human resources, right, they have that work all the time.
Speaker 1:I got my white kid, my white counterpart, right. They can say the same thing I say to a person of color get yelled at and I'll say it myself. And they play. I totally understand the same words. I totally understand it. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much. I'm going to make sure I give you five star reviews. But they said it. Oh my God, it's over. They're going to look for like reasons why they're racist, reasons why you know what I mean, even though they just said yo, we can't do that or break the policy. But for me, I get away a lot more with it. But another thing too is I guess that works against me being black Sometimes. Like they see us as like creative or being a certain way like her, like charismatic I guess, and they take away from our technical skills. Like I'm really good with an Excel sheet and spreadsheets and organization and structure right, but they don't look at it because a lot of things they don't. They don't. They don't look at it because they don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 3:And I think that I'm better at at charisma than tech. I guess I definitely agree with you saying I'm not, I'm not, I don't have anything to expand on it, but I definitely agree, I do understand.
Speaker 1:So I think that answers the question. Like people can be both like privilege and disadvantage right.
Speaker 2:People often overlook having two parents is a privilege. Having one parent is a privilege privilege relative to an orphan who has no parents and gets pushed into the foster care system. If you have one eye, you have a privilege over someone who has no vision at all. All of these things are a level of okay. Well, you have an advantage that someone else in society does not have. That's all it is. People will think, like I said earlier, privilege is like oh well, you've lived an easy life with no difficulty, no struggle, no structure, no structural like collapse or anything. But that's not the case. You can be a white person who has like a drug addled mother and a deadbeat father. That can happen, but that oftentimes will beat someone. Like a person of color of any, whether you're black, native American, like Asian and an orphan. It's better to have two parents that are like distant than it is to have no parents at all and end up being like an urchin on the street or like a kid stuck in the foster care system.
Speaker 3:That's a good point, definitely a good point. I never looked at it like that, like I'm still privileged, even though, because there's other children who don't have, or you know, there was other children who were without their mom and their dads already had their mom and their dad's needs on drugs, and you know what I mean. So it's like, I guess, in a way, that I guess I was a little privileged in some ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we all are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I guess when I look at privilege, I was looking more at race, because I know that I deal with that more than anything else. So, especially being a black community, I think that that's what I think about them. When you see just across the world and when the headlines is always police brutality, this or this, or they shot this person because of this, because they had a hood on, because they, because they was grabbing in their pockets, you know, and then it's like a white person and I keep seeing a white person, because I'm just going to call it like I see it and we'll be doing the same exact thing that my fellow brother or sister will be doing, and then they don't get the same effect, just like the one that white lady just went into the police station and let off a shot.
Speaker 2:I didn't even hear about that.
Speaker 1:You didn't see that they probably actually what was wrong too? Hey, what's wrong?
Speaker 3:He went into the police station. This was I think it was his last week. He literally went into the police station, pulled out her gun at the purse and shot a couple times at the glass. Like where you go in to check in, to talk to somebody. That like a secretary.
Speaker 2:Wild.
Speaker 3:Literally, and then they all walked in. Eventually, I think she got tased or they just somehow. I think she just stopped shooting, or something. They all came in and they never got shot. This just happened and I'm going to sing out a video. I should have sent it before this so you can. Really we could have pulled it up. Pulled it up on here. Yeah, what thinking thought you guys would have seen it, because something like that white lady.
Speaker 2:And even even that makes it that's kind of the problem, right is like we shouldn't look up at people who have privileges and be like, well damn, screw you.
Speaker 2:The problem is when other people are denied access to the same privileges, like if you have a school and there's no handicap ramps, there's no like elevators, so it's only stairs.
Speaker 2:The issue is going to be that if you have a kid in a wheelchair or a kid who's like walking around on crutches, they're going to have difficulty accessing the school, and if it isn't that people are walking around freely and just going up the stairs, the issue is that no accommodations have been made to make their lives any easier. And that applies for any kind of privilege, whether you're talking about gender privilege, like hell, even between men and women. I'm usually pretty comfortable, like going out at night or going out to a bar by myself or going to like the movies by myself, and I don't feel like a group of men are going to kidnap me or like assault me somewhere, like I generally don't feel like that's going to happen, but like most women have an experience I'd say all women have an experience where they just aren't comfortable being alone or being out by themselves because of an experience that they've had. Whereas men might not all have that same experience, but almost every woman does.
Speaker 3:Hmm, I hear you.
Speaker 1:So have you ever had experience like that?
Speaker 3:No, I want to say like that, but I did experience, you know, not being able to have access to something that another person of a different, not even that like even being privileged. You'd be, you even privileged, being light skinned, like you get what I'm saying, so it's like you don't even have to be. I can't always say it's a white thing, but it majority of the time it is. But even being light skinned is a privilege. I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 2:Well, the largest, the most privileged group in the entire world and the most disadvantaged group in the world are able body and disabled people respectively. Name like a nationality that doesn't deal with disabilities. Right, you can, of course, name a gender that doesn't deal with disabilities.
Speaker 3:I know everybody. I know disabilities is one thing, but you don't really nothing come across the news about. There was a disabled man that they did not. He wanted to go use his wheelchair to go up the steps and they said no Well, that's because we have made a lot of concessions toward that already.
Speaker 2:But if you look at the statistics, disabled people are more likely to experience domestic violence, they're more likely to experience poverty. They're more likely to experience all of these like negative factors of society that we don't think about as, like able body people, they are, the largest minority group in the world is disabled people. So we have made a lot of concessions for a lot of different things, like there's Braille on almost every elevator Just to help accommodate blind people. Every crosswalk has like the beeping, the like beeping sound that you hear. That's for blind people to know when they have to cross the street or when they should be able to Right, right, right, right. If we were to normalize ASL, like deaf people would have more access to the world around them, but we, as able body people who don't deal with that kind of stuff, don't deal with chronic illness or like a straight up body malfunction, we don't think about it.
Speaker 3:They made it where it was suitable, accessible for them, which is a great thing, and they're able to have these different advantages because they're accommodating them, which is, I think, is amazing. I don't take it away from that Now, on the other hand, I'm talking about us as black people. There is what is really accommodated for us Because we got black.
Speaker 2:Disabled people are arguably more disadvantaged than black able body people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I'm talking about the disabled people because at the end of the day, they still, like you said, there's ramps for them, they have crossing cross from there. They beep and noises, there's even little bubbles.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, but they also can't keep more than $1,000 in their bank account by themselves. They're often not allowed to live on their own because they have to have a helper.
Speaker 3:And financially get the things that they need. I understand it, but at least the other things were done for them. I'm not saying they don't need financial aid. They should do that. Fix all of that for them too. But hear me out what I'm saying for a black person, a black woman, a black person who grew up in an impoverished area. All accommodations were slowly made for us, but Juneteenth- yeah, so we're no longer slaves.
Speaker 2:One, we can drink at water fountains without being criticized.
Speaker 3:Even though there's not physical slaves. There actually are physical slaves somewhere, Some plantations.
Speaker 2:Yes, but as far as America goes, slavery, which was the biggest thing, was illegalized.
Speaker 3:Why people do what they're going to do, what girl is. What I'm saying to you is it don't matter rather, who's on a plantation and who's not. At the end of the day, they still try to enslave us in our minds. We still move like we slave. You get what I'm saying. Because they instill so much stuff where we're not able to have real freedom. They said we're in America as a free country, america, freedom of speech, debt, and you can do X, y and Z, but you really can't here.
Speaker 2:You can't really do what you want. Going to quantify what I'm trying to say, the average able-bodied black person in America has a far better quality of life than the average disabled white person.
Speaker 3:Why are you so heavy on the?
Speaker 2:different. It's because what we're doing right now is ignoring the privileges that we have of being able-bodied. That's exactly what's happening in this part of the conversation, because if we were to say, well, what are we doing for black people? What are we doing for black people? Well, yes, we have had to go through what.
Speaker 3:You ain't saying that. Like what is your whole thing about me being strong going? What if I had a certain experience where I'm like I'm going to stand on this and now I'm an advocate for black people and I'm just basically speaking out saying, hey, we're not as privileged as other people? And I understand what you're saying about the disabled and the dis-bodied people, or I mean the disabled people who aren't able to financially have certain needs met. At the same time, a lot of things were accommodated more for them versus a black person. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2:The question though. The alright question though.
Speaker 1:How might racist, racial and ethnic privilege influence hiring decisions or workplace dynamics?
Speaker 2:I mean, we still experience the thing where it's like if your name is an ethnic name, you're probably going to be passed over during, like, an interview stage or during the hiring process. I'm pretty sure that still happens to some extent and you can't really enforce it because there can be all kinds of reasons why you're not hired right, like if you apply for a job they can just say like, oh well, taikisha doesn't have the right qualifications and it's like well, I mean, I think she does. But they'll never have to actually say like, oh, I'm not, I didn't pick her because I don't like her name. They'll never say it, but that can still happen. People can still be skipped over for promotions because they feel as though a black person is not as qualified despite having the qualifications for the promotion. Yeah, I think those are like two big ones.
Speaker 1:I can see that. I can see that I think that does happen a lot when people be like yo, well, she doesn't have the qualifications, so like, let's say, some instances, that's correct, she did not have the she, or they or him did not have the qualifications. You know what I mean. They made that even if they interviewed. Well, they made that the main focus point.
Speaker 1:A lot of times you would like, let's say, we're racial or ethnic, and the reason why the interview sometimes go better is because the person in charge, let's say Kindel, I know you are, we're the same type of person from the same type of background, because, men, you came from the same type of black background. We connect. You know what I mean. We are on the same like wavelength. I'm like yo, he get it. I get it If I'm good at my job and he's like me, he must gonna be, he's gonna be good at my the job as well. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So it's like an unconscious bias that is created a lot of times and that's like a that is like a big privilege as well, like I think it's called, what was it called? It's the type of privilege I see often, especially in hiring, because majority of the office, especially the higher ups, let's say the GM. Most of the times there are ethnic, you know what I mean. And then they hire a guy and finance who isn't, or it can go the other ways. Right, let's say you work for like a warehouse. Right, let's say, we got a referral, we got a referral bonus, so you referral people. Right, the person you refer is going to be kind of like you, right?
Speaker 2:I mean typically, for the most part, almost all factors of society. Every individual hangs out with people that are around the same, like classes them. So you're not going to be like somebody who's making 25, 30,000 a year, who's best friends with a bunch of millionaires. If you hang out with them long enough, you would probably end up in a higher tax bracket. Just from like osmosis, like learning the things that they've learned, having the conversations that they have, being the rooms that they're in Over time, your overall average net value will go up just by proximity to them. So for the most part, we all have that experience of like okay, well, this person is similar to me, Of course, that's the person I'm going to refer. We see that with dating as well. You're not going to date too much out of your tax bracket. For the most part, and again, for anybody that's going to be like well, what about this? I'm talking averages and generalization. Generally speaking, people stay within their bubbles.
Speaker 3:So I definitely agree. When you asked about the privilege in the work environment, I was going to say that I feel like sometimes on my application, sometimes I want to say my name is Ashley or sometimes I want to say man, I literally want to lie on my application, but everything right. But just change my name is to see if they call me and I'm like oh, that was a. I'm sorry, that was my template, I forgot to take out the name. Oh, this is actually Deniah X, Y and Z. You know what I'm saying. Just to see if they will still hire me. I literally want to change. I don't want to run a real life, change my name, but I do want to use the John Doe name on my applications.
Speaker 1:I won't lie If I ever like, like I do interview with you and I'm like, oh, and you don't get the job. Like Deniah, you are denied. Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3:Not the puns. Not the puns. Wait, wait, wait your face. Or would it just be a joke that you had at the one.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what your resume looked like. I do, I do hiring, but Wow.
Speaker 1:In firing and all the in-betweens. But so we're going to talk about social, economic privilege, play a role in assessing job opportunities or climbing the corporate ladder. I won't, all right, let's be. Let's say this is. I'm not going to say anything. But let's say let's say you're a high level executive, right, and your friend is a high level executive. His wife needs a job, right, his wife has good qualifications. I've seen this often. I'm not going to say where, where they got the wife a really great job of the friend. You know what I mean. And this is just because of the higher tax bracket. The lady I don't. I don't believe she's qualified. But what I see often is like association and job opportunities are like almost one in the same.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean. So you kind of contradicted yourself in the question itself there, because you said the qualifications are good. If the qualifications are good, then she should be fine. If the qualifications are poor and she's only getting hired in because of like nepotism, yeah I'd say that's probably a bad thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think like I'm on offense with the good qualifications because it was like bear. I guess it was good enough to pass. It was just a college from a college degree. Not much experience, but a college degree. But there are definitely other candidates who have like decades of experience that were passed on. I don't know why, but that was like a high level hiring, so it was in charge of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's. It's when you start to get into the weeds of it and it's like okay, well, should we give it to somebody who has the experience or try to like train somebody up. It really depends on the industry that you're in, like. There are some industries where it's like okay, we like I know door to door sales is one of them Oftentimes they prefer you not to have a lot of experience, because when you come in they want to be able to break you down and train you from the beginning. They don't want somebody who has like all the knowledge coming in already and then they think they know everything. But the firm that you're working for has a completely different like sales strategy. So it's like why would we hire somebody who has like seven years of experience, who is going to come in and try to run the place, versus taking somebody fresh out of college, who's nice and like malleable, and shape them into the way that they want them to be? So it's it's really difficult and it varies a lot, I would say.
Speaker 1:All right, that's. That's a good one. Nia got anything to add?
Speaker 3:No, I'm good, I'm just listening.
Speaker 1:What did you? How do y'all feel about education privilege, such as attending university?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that that comes in a lot of a lot of things will come in just off of your class privilege alone. If you're born to a two parent household where both of your parents are working, neither of them are like destitute, no one's in debt, and then you get pushed into college Like you don't have to deal with the fact that your parents aren't available because they could probably afford a decent babysitter, even if they are, versus a poor family who throws you into a daycare where you're now surrounded by a bunch of other kids whose parents also probably aren't that well off. So now you have, from the very beginning of your educational career, kids that are likely to fall off. They won't be able to get their needs met properly. I just started working in education and it's it's super duper clear very early on that our school systems if you are not aligned properly at home, you're going to come into school not ready for the day. You're not going to be able to focus on school itself because you're worried about your financial situation at home.
Speaker 2:For me, specifically, when I was in high school, I was actually on SSI because my dad passed away when I was really, really young, when I was about to turn 18, they were like okay, so you either need to fail a year of school so you can keep your SSI or find a job immediately. So for me, I literally had to make the choice between getting into work immediately and skipping college for a while still haven't gone back yet or fail a year intentionally and then keep collecting the SSI while I wait for a better job opportunity to come along. So the choices that you can make when you have a wealthier family. They create a much better safety net where you can do whatever the hell you really want and as long as your parents have the money to catch you, it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:So those kids get to go into Harvard, they get to go into, like Yale, whatever Ivy League school and then dick around the entirety of the time and because their parents are wealthy, probably donors for the school, it doesn't really matter. They still get that good education, they still get the diploma, they get the degree that says you went to Harvard and they were messing around the whole time. So it all piggybacks on top of each other. If you're wealthy, you're probably going to be better educated. If you're better educated, you're going to have better access to jobs. If you have better access to jobs, your kids will have all the better access to jobs too. So it really just cascades in that kind of way.
Speaker 3:I definitely agree with what he said and I always think about that too. My first school I never went to school. Well, I went to school in Chester as a kid, but not for middle school, not for high school. Up to sixth grade I did go to, I think, Chester school, or seventh grade, I don't know. Anyway, so I went to school in Delaware. So my mom wanted me to go to Delaware to get a, you know, have a greater education, you know, because the system's up. And then on top of that, like afterwards, you know, I went to college, I went to community college and then I went to Morgan State and from Morgan State I ended up on a Westchester.
Speaker 3:And I know, and it's sad to say, if it says Westchester on my resume versus Morgan State, I have a better chance at getting a job just because it says Westchester University. You know what I'm saying. And even if I even went to Cheney for a little semester, if I put Cheney on there, they wouldn't have probably accepted me. Like, certain jobs really go off at your school. Of course, if I went to somewhere like Spellman or Yale or something like that, you know I'm getting in for sure, you know, and that's why I'm going to have to just redo my resume and lie. This time I'm going to have to just say I'm podcasting all of her employers from now on.
Speaker 3:That's the answer to you.
Speaker 1:Nah, it's totally fine. But one more on this, on the workplace right. So how can you address, like, how can you think your workplace can recognize and address privileges?
Speaker 2:Oh. So I mean, that's kind of like the difficulty of it, right. We have to question like what is the responsibility of an employer to account for privilege, either in hiring or promotion or just general treatment of the workers? You can have things in place where, like, a lot of people get upset at affirmative action, and affirmative action was just changed so you can no longer accept applicants solely based on race anymore. So I mean, when you account for something like that, we're already walking backwards. So it's more a question of what can we actually do moving forward, and I don't. I don't really know if there's anything you can do without addressing the root issue.
Speaker 2:The primary issue with being of like a racial minority is that racial minorities tend to have a higher propensity toward being a lower class minority too. So if you're black, you're more likely to be poor. If you come from a family of immigrants, you're more likely to be poor. So it starts even before you get to the workplace. There's a lot that needs to be done before you get to that point and then, when you're actually in the workplace, as long as there isn't really a lot of workplace discrimination and it is a comfortable, good environment to work in, most people will be able to pick themselves up and lift out of whatever situation they were in. But if you can't get there to begin with, that's where the hell really starts.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:No, I just agree with Kandel. I'm here for what he said basically. So he basically said what I would have said.
Speaker 1:I think like so being in the workplace and dealing with it. I deal with all the issues and equity in the workplace. That's my job and some of the things I see. I see things like power privilege. I see things like gender privilege or sexual orientation privilege. Let's go for sexual orientation privilege.
Speaker 1:Let's say you're a stud. Because you are a stud, no man wants to help you. Which is sagging pants and your drawers out. You're looking like a stud. No man want to help you, right? But the girl the bad drawing down the joint with the tights on every man helping her doing her job. You can hardly pick up something. You got to try to pick up 80 pads or whatever. They're not helping you just because of what you like, because there's not a chance that you could be with them. You're not going to invest in making sure you're having a good day.
Speaker 3:No, I can see that happening and because it's like, well, she's already masculine, so what I need to help her for anyway, she a nigga.
Speaker 1:I got one.
Speaker 3:Anyway, we're in the same role.
Speaker 1:What's up? Not the fruit of the womb.
Speaker 3:That's not your problem. What's the one that everybody always want to get sponsored for?
Speaker 1:What's the one Hands hands hands.
Speaker 3:No, nobody want to be sponsored, but all right, there's not I'm gonna act. What's the one? That's real cute when the prince on it expensive.
Speaker 2:Look at the loom. Oh, I don't know. I got no idea. I'm like what's you talk about? What?
Speaker 3:kind of drawers do y'all wear?
Speaker 1:Oh, savage Tinty.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:The other one, bobby, talking about drawers. What is going on? Where are you?
Speaker 1:Or quintessential like, but I don't know.
Speaker 3:Who can't wear your wear now.
Speaker 2:Where the Calvin Klein's at.
Speaker 1:You're right. Ok, I wear the sweat with John's, but I'm no. But no, I can't stand like.
Speaker 3:I can see it more likely that the guy will want to help the girlier girl versus. You know that does happen, it does. I've been through a lot of this stuff that you're saying and at work, not about the man's gonna let me wear some boxes, Other that literally have dealt with. In minds is more like color barrier thing and also gender thing. So I have dealt with that for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or what else. Another thing I see is like power privilege. Right, I'll see, because because someone's a manager and no one can check them, you just believe them. You know what I mean. A manager can feel like no one can check them and they'll try to take advantage of that. Or let's say, if someone's like like a subordinate or whatever you want to call them, if they're, you're in charge of them and you have to go in with HR and you lie on them. Usually, depending on the HR person, they might believe the manager over there, associate. You know what I mean. So a lot of times what you have to handle is this you always have to have a witness, you always have to have an equal voice in these things. What is the other ones too? I mean race privileges, like, I guess, like overrated. We always talk about that.
Speaker 2:So what you're talking about with parental privilege or power privilege? Parents do the same shit. Where it's like I'm the parent, teachers do the same thing. Oh my God, the teachers will literally just ignore what kids have to say, because it's like you're the child. I, like I said, I've been doing my job for only a brief while now, but I've already seen instances like either in my classroom or outside of the classrooms I work in, where it is a matter of a kid having a grievance or a problem and they're like, hey, what can we do to address this? And the teacher is like, well, either nothing or deal with it. And then the kid asks why? And it's because I said so.
Speaker 2:How many, how often have you heard a parent say that to a kid? Because I said so. That stuff, it like pissed me off all the time as a kid because I was the. I was the. Why kid? Why, why, why, why? And at the end of the day, if you run out of answers to the why, it's usually because you haven't thought through the issue well enough.
Speaker 2:You're asking me where else do we see privilege? You've said sexual orientation. Imagine being transgender, like. Imagine being someone who is out as, like, a lesbian at the workplace or as a gay man at the workplace.
Speaker 2:These experiences alone all have different difficulties that come with them. If you are a neurodivergent, that's anybody with autism, adhd, any of the I forget what they're called, the I think it's B type disorders or like BPD, npd, narcissistic personality disorder Anyone who deals with like any kind of mental illness has to deal with people who have the privilege of having a regular neurotypical mind. So, whether you're in the workforce, whether you're in school, whether you're trying to navigate the healthcare system, whether you're navigating real estate, there's a level of privilege for every single group of people and you might have an advantage over someone else, like someone who is autistic. But high functioning might have an advantage because high functioning, autistic specifically, are more capable of adapting to the pressures of the workforce and education, while someone who is a low functioning autistic person might not have any accessibility to adult life independently at all and then to like double back on, like sex and gender, specifically, trans people almost get no respect in any public space.
Speaker 2:And we as cisgender people. If we're not able to have those conversations on their behalf in a way that actually makes them feel better, in a way that actually advocates for their problems and uplifts them, then we can't really consider ourselves allies or I would stretch as far as to say good people. I don't think you can consider yourself a good person If you don't have an ear on the ground for people who have it worse than you, whether that's related to your wealth, your race, your sexual orientation, your gender identity, your mental state, whether you're neurotypical or no, divergent like you have a responsibility to use your privilege to uplift others, and if you don't do that, I do think it makes you lean into the bad person territory more than like anything else would.
Speaker 1:You know it's crazy. I don't really think I'm a good person, but we're going to disregard that.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We got diving to that why I was wondering what privilege do you ignore of yours?
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I think I got a beard privilege, no, but it's serious, it's like this. So I'm a little sometimes. I'm a little loaf, right, I might seem a little slow sometimes because I'm like thinking about some shit. I always like I'm a little loaf, thinking about some new concepts. I'm always like in my mind, you know, I'm being creative, right, and sometimes this might look like I'm a little like a space case, but because of this, people give me a lot more information that they don't know I actually take and run with.
Speaker 1:That's, for instance, right, I do festivals and stuff like that. So the festival preparation people I guess they don't see me as like they always give me more information because I don't think they see me as competition or anything like that, but they pretty much told me how to build a whole festival from scratch. Or like someone tries to explain to me in something as simple as way and I grasp it, or like even like people underestimate me in a way. I think like you can have slow privilege or like perceived, I don't know how to explain it, but it's something like that.
Speaker 3:I think I do know what you kind of saying.
Speaker 1:I got. I got a smart dumb nigga privilege. I got make sense.
Speaker 2:I mean, I can see it. I can see it being a thing definitely. But I don't know if I would consider it necessarily like a privilege to constantly be discounted and have people like misjudge your capabilities. I don't know if I would think of it that way.
Speaker 1:It's good for collecting information, but we're gonna go to this one. We're gonna go on dating they in. How does physical yeah, I can hear you All right how does physical appearance privilege influence during experiences? I got a question for you. So, Kendra, how tall are you?
Speaker 2:I'm 5'8".
Speaker 1:You're pretty tall.
Speaker 2:Not really average.
Speaker 3:I literally thought you was like 5'5" or 5". You just don't seem like a tall person.
Speaker 2:Dang. Okay, she's like a small people personality.
Speaker 3:You just think you wish you were a high-height or shorter.
Speaker 1:Dang, how tall are you, Naya?
Speaker 3:I'm like 6'2" Roughly.
Speaker 1:You're not 6'2". I was like what the fuck. That's unbelievable, because I've never seen you. I was like what?
Speaker 3:the fuck. 5'4" 5'4".
Speaker 1:Are you short?
Speaker 2:Let's go for 5'5", that's also because my camera is so high relative to me, so I look like I'm down here.
Speaker 1:All right, how tall do I look?
Speaker 2:I'd say 5'9", 5'10".
Speaker 3:You're giving me 5'6".
Speaker 1:Damn, I'm 5'10" 5'10".
Speaker 2:Oh, spot on.
Speaker 3:You kind of got a body like, yeah, it don't look like I'm built like I'm short.
Speaker 1:You trying to say yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no way I'm built like. I'm Hell, because the top of my body, my arm's so long and my torso this is long for some reason. Or is that my legs long? I don't know, my legs is extremely long and then my body is like this, like the top of my.
Speaker 1:I'm saying you a what's it? The wacky and flippable arm man, A predictable me body. Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:I'm calling Naya, a girl from that one.
Speaker 1:No, but like, I think, like, let's say, parents wise. I think short men are being dragged in the dirt. I'm short, apparently, 5'10 is short.
Speaker 2:I very severely disagree. I honestly like it doesn't matter if you're short or not. If somebody calls you short and you get offended by it, your lack of confidence is what throws you off the game. If you are confident and you Look honestly, look like if a girl comes up to me and she's just like, oh, you're a little too short for my taste, I'm like all right, I'm not your taste, then I'm gonna go over here to her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and don't bother me.
Speaker 2:And then they're like wait, hold on, get back here with your sassy ass. And it's like nah, sis. Like I don't have a problem with being perceived as like shorter than a guy who's like 6'2. I have other qualities to offer and if you're willing to settle, like your dating score, on someone's height, I probably don't want to be with you. Anyway, like, to me it's not that big of a deal. I know who I am, I know what I'm capable of, I know how tall I am. Like none of that bothers me.
Speaker 1:So you okay with being a short king.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bro, short king, short excellence, let's go. Would you say, no, I?
Speaker 3:said how are you speaking for everybody else? That's your confidence in it.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not speaking for everybody else. What I'm saying is that if you, as a general rule, are a shorter person, specifically a man, but your confidence is decent, you will be able to pull baddies still, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3:But this is true. I literally messed with somebody that was like this, tall to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. I'm not saying like every short person should be confident, no, like you should find reasons to be confident within yourself. But if you attach, like your quality as a person, to the fact that you're 5'4 as a guy, you're already losing.
Speaker 3:But listen, it doesn't feel good though, because I really expect, I really want that man to be. I just felt like Joanna man when I was next to him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's nothing intrinsically wrong with it. If I'm dating a girl who is 6'2, that's death by snoo. Snoo to me Like whatever, I don't care.
Speaker 3:Kandell, you just gonna go with it. You don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so shallow to be like oh, she's 6'2. Have you seen, like some of these 6'2 people, like some of these tall women, they said that you never was in.
Speaker 3:Now I want you to. I want you to show up with a girl that's 6'3. I'm going on a date and I want you to bring a date and I want her to be over 6'1.
Speaker 2:What I'm saying is that if I'm talking to a girl who happens to be considerably taller than me, I'm not going to break that relationship or lose interest because she's taller than I am.
Speaker 3:So what would happen at the way if she weren't her heels or not, or she got where it flits?
Speaker 2:I have no problem with this Because, at the end of the day, I'm still going to throw my shit, the same way.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter, she's trying to pick you up.
Speaker 2:Bro, if that is what it needs to be, that's what it needs to be, but it's not going to make me feel insecure or less confident myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I marry a WNBA player and I got to get on a crate to kiss her, I'm cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not a problem. To me it's genuinely not. If we bond super well, we communicate well, we enjoy each other's company, none of that is a problem.
Speaker 3:When are more easy going when it comes to stuff like that.
Speaker 2:No, healthy, healed men who are working on themselves are a bit more easy going. There are dudes who will drag you to the mod of your sex fight.
Speaker 3:No, I think the ratio that more men are like like for me, like there's people who have like skin disorders and different things like that, and I'm like maybe I wouldn't date with them, but they, they, is cute and it's something that I don't care if she bad as heck, I don't, it, don't matter, you get what I'm saying. Or there may be somebody with one or more than the other, and I'm like you know, I'm not saying I wouldn't, I'm just saying, for example, and then some of them are like man, I don't care that little orga, do something for me. Like you know what I'm saying, like they'll say something like that, you'll always know how to find something to make a situation comfortable, because a woman we think into a lot of stuff, like well, this is an issue that the red pill community has with women.
Speaker 2:The red pill community always drills women for being super shallow, chasing after higher status men. They believe in the idea of hypergamy, which means like every woman is constantly looking to upgrade to the next best guy. But like I don't generally feel that women feel that way, would you say.
Speaker 3:I stay line on us. We definitely. I don't feel like all women feel that way. I would just give an example. But I feel like you guys are. Y'all don't be into the like. I can go into the back home right now and and we both get washed up at the same time, the same time, and we're closed or already laid out, laid out and my hair is already done. Say, my hair is already laid back and done. I'm still going to come out the back from longer to you because I'm always going to overly judge myself or feel like let me see if I turn this way To be to stop you there, to be fair and this over this catfish community.
Speaker 1:Have a bunch of filters and a bunch of makeups. I want to see the ugly pics Send me. Your ugly is picked.
Speaker 3:Listen, that's one I want to know what it really looked like.
Speaker 1:What am I bringing home and what am I waking up to?
Speaker 2:So I mean, I don't even think that's fair because, like a lot of guys will be like, oh my God, well, like I'm going to take her on a swimming pool date so I can see her with no makeup first, and then they're like shop for women, are like less attractive with with no makeup. For me it's like a lot of those guys have just never spent the night with a woman, like when she takes off her makeup at the end of the night, like that's just what happens.
Speaker 3:What if you did go to sleep with a girl and she went to sleep and she was Tim Kardashian? When you woke up she was whoopee Goldberg man. What do you do?
Speaker 1:No, whoopee Goldberg kind of fine. They just like I think the media fucked her pictures. Okay, that's my conspiracy theory for the day.
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean, that's kind of the thing about it, like, again, how do I feel about her character and who she is? Because, also, I wouldn't like. I mean, kim Kardashian is not unattractive by any stretch. But yes, I understand what your example is, but you're using it on the wrong guy. I'm not every guy. When you talk to me, for me, physical attraction is going to be a big deal. Say it again.
Speaker 3:Okay, so you said physical attraction is or isn't a big deal.
Speaker 2:It is. It is a major contributor. If I'm not physically attracted to somebody, I probably won't pursue an intimate relationship with them, but if their makeup game happens to be excellent, and then their average when they take off the makeup, I'm probably not going to have an issue with that, because it's the matter of the fact is, whenever we go out together, if she's going to be made up, that's what she's going to look like, and then whenever we wake up together after a whole night together, it's not also not going to be a problem, because I saw the transformation, I saw the process of what she does to get there. If I take a break from going to the gym for like six months and I get a little flabby, is it going to be like the same level of judgment that happens?
Speaker 3:You always got to get so deep. I'm just asking you bring somebody home and she wants to sleep looking like this thing. One thing that a person that you're actually attracted to she woke up looking like a gremlin. That's all I was saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's as, as I don't. I don't generally think makeup can save you that much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think you can either. I don't, all right. So here it is Like I've seen the worst online with the makeup tutorials, but like I don't think the worst is out there. Like that, like you see the jobs where, like they show her like one picture on the right, one picture on the left, or before and after makeup, and you like God damn, I mean, that's usually like these people typically have.
Speaker 2:Like like excessive like acne or something, or they have like scars that they're covering up or they've got like a lazy eye or something like that, and that shit doesn't bother me Because, if anything, if I get with the girl who happens to have like excessive acne or like her face is a little hit because she has some condition like that, that's usually what's being covered up by the makeup. If your stuff is like in place, your face isn't symmetrical, but everything just makes sense where it is. For me, your baseline attractiveness isn't going to be that much lower whether you have the makeup on or not.
Speaker 1:Your real life. Stay with somebody for a really long time. You just see what they ugly at like you be like you're less.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's, that's kind of how it. That's how it has to be. When you're with somebody for a long time, you see the good, the bad and the ugly and you choose to stay with them, not based on the good, the bad and the ugly, but their character. Why? You can so offend it, stop it.
Speaker 3:Because we want to know did you ever look at a girl right one day and you're like, damn you kind of ugly babe, but I never noticed it, that's all.
Speaker 1:I know because.
Speaker 2:I'm not an asshole.
Speaker 1:I never said that, but I thought that currently.
Speaker 3:have you ever just looked at somebody's like you know as cute as I actually thought you were?
Speaker 1:But you know, like that was somebody like one eye, like one eye was getting weighed down by eyelash and the other eye was like almost all the way to the fuck open.
Speaker 2:So I think the easiest way to quantify this, would you be able to date someone who's like an extreme burn victim, like an extreme? Burn victim would have all these things that people are talking about, like where they have to deal with their skin being like damaged to the point of like changing their face completely. If you look at somebody who's a burn victim and you're like, oh my god, you're just ugly To me, you're a trash person at that point, there's no debating.
Speaker 1:I'm not like a looks person at all. I go for personality. I'm like I'm trying to find me a seven, you know what I mean. Seven is on how to treat you. A seven know how to treat you.
Speaker 2:A seven is above average technically.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's above average, but not the best.
Speaker 3:Then would y'all do love. A love is blind. I feel like you would do it. I would do it too.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Like do love is blind.
Speaker 3:You ever watched the show love is blind.
Speaker 1:No all I gotta say is this like I am a little shallow, you want me? Let's talk about how shallow I am. If you looking like a big old tub of like loose mayonnaise, I don't want you. I don't like too gelatinous. You know what I'm saying. Like if you falling out your clothes, how you looking, I don't want you to die. You gotta have some like shape.
Speaker 2:If that's fair, yeah, I like so for me, I think what people are talking about when they're talking about, like, not wanting to be with people who are out of shape. It's not even that they're out of shape, that's the problem. It's that typically, what leads to someone being out of shape is a lack of other qualities, like if you can't bring yourself to go to the gym, you can't bring yourself to eat like a proper, healthy diet, you probably have a lack of like discipline in a way that stops you from being able to build a decent life to begin with. Not to say not going to the gym means you're a trash person.
Speaker 2:But if you want those kinds of qualities in a person like where it is like self-improvement, self-improvement, self-improvement it's the same thing is not dating someone who's broke. You don't want to not date them because they're broke. It's more like why aren't you doing something for yourself? Why aren't you building a career for yourself? Why aren't you looking to build a future for yourself? That's more of like the question for it. So for me, it's like not even I'm not attracted to larger people. It's more like, if anything, I just don't like lazy people or slobs, and then those people would tend to be the ones that get a little bit large.
Speaker 1:That's not always true, you know I mean like the tendency can create that, that reality, you know I mean and behavior to create that reality of looking like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not attracted if I do some little thicker.
Speaker 1:Right, I'll date some thick John's I think every you know every shape, your size almost. But like I want you to live long. So I'm like, damn I love her now and she kind of healthy. She's got like the pre-diabetic so like I wanna get me with that.
Speaker 2:Would you ever be able to date a diabetic, knowing that their lifespans typically tend to be shorter?
Speaker 1:You know what? I actually declined on diabetic Recently.
Speaker 2:She's the better shown you ever seen. She's the sweetest on you ever seen, but she might die at like 50.
Speaker 1:Damn, I can try to get a badge on at 50, though I Be think I'm sorry. Oh, it was that shallow, but I'm like damn, she gonna go, so I should get another one. That's me.
Speaker 3:We'll find another wife.
Speaker 2:But have you written. You will yet like I have a wedding ball, sir.
Speaker 1:But um All that, to save this. Now I can do it. We all got our limits.
Speaker 3:Okay, I feel bad because it's a diabetes would be a limit for you.
Speaker 1:It'll be a deal, burger bro, I'm just saying like you got that, you got the beat.
Speaker 2:All right. What if you find like the thickest cancer patient?
Speaker 1:I like what stage you cancer be talking.
Speaker 3:Okay, good, and think I'm. Where am I?
Speaker 2:I don't know Do you know, we call this, we call this ableism, we call this ableism.
Speaker 1:What is ableism?
Speaker 2:So ableism is like what I mentioned before, where you have the privilege of being able-bodied and then you either judge or mischaracterize people who have, like, a disability or some disorder that messes them up in some way or makes our quality of life harder. So If you could never date somebody who's in a wheelchair because, like, you're not attracted to wheelchair people, it's kind of like an ableist position to have.
Speaker 1:I would like I probably knock off somebody in a wheelchair over somebody or like stage almost near.
Speaker 3:It's not because, okay. So it's two things I was gonna say. I was gonna say something about the wheelchair and I was gonna say something about the cancer. I'm gonna say something about the cancer first, because that's the first thing we talking about. So it's not so much because the person has cancer, it's about it's about the part of loving somebody, and then they just leave you out Of nowhere. It's unexpected. You get what I'm saying and happen to wash them, go through the chemo.
Speaker 2:But what if you're with somebody for 30 years and then they get cancer?
Speaker 3:It's still.
Speaker 2:Are you going to leave them? So there's, there's the thing, right, like if you find someone, you fall in love with them, and then like You're like, oh, wait a minute, why didn't you tell me that you were dying? And they're just like well, because most people I tell them and then they leave, and then you do Exactly that.
Speaker 1:They got like a crazy, like STD or something like that, from cheating and yeah.
Speaker 2:But if you have an STD that's different, them like for that. I typically won't even take the risk of having sex with someone who has an STI, like if you tell me that I'm just gonna be like I'm sorry, but I'm not going to like pursue that kind of thing anymore.
Speaker 3:Otherwise I would have been all game. Then that's the difference. If, of course, I already had with a person, has and it's like, all right, whatever, well, I got that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean for me, and I don't have any STI, so I'm not going to risk it.
Speaker 3:Feel bad how you just said. It's all just like whoa. Maybe if a person found somebody, they should have an app with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if I I'm pretty sure there is literally like an app for people who are like HIV positive. It's like positive dating or something.
Speaker 3:That's good. They should do that. I like that.
Speaker 1:I'm scared of research that some I might think I got some shit, but um, I think I'm looking my search history. What the fuck was you looking at? I'm sorry, I was just trying to my guy control sift then yeah right, oh, that's a thing.
Speaker 2:In cognitum mode.
Speaker 1:Oh shit Um my guys.
Speaker 2:Whole browsing history is just.
Speaker 1:All right, how does like let's say, how does gender, how does race, uh, influence the perception of desirability when making like dating choices? Oh, do you feel? Do you feel like ours? I don't know. Like for me? I think I'm not. I'll be honest, I don't think I could date someone who may be of the lighter, the super light skin three. I go like I prefer brown skin up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me, race is never a limiter. And who I'm attracted to? I'm biracial myself no matter which way I ran.
Speaker 2:I would just kind of be foolish for it. So, and I'm also polyamorous, so I'm comfortable having like multiple partners and I'm comfortable like dating people of like different types. So for me, like I'm never gonna look at somebody who's white and be like, oh I don't know if I could date a white person. If I feel like I I'm in multiple relationships as a poly person and a few too many of my partners are like white, I might start to feel as though, like okay, am I? Am I like cutting myself off from a portion society that I could otherwise be experiencing through someone Non-white? I might get to that point, but I'll never chalk someone off solely because of their race.
Speaker 1:You know, kim, though I stand corrected because I was at the club one day and I see I've seen Becky. She got the caligraines and the Kool-Aid in her system and I was talking with the colleagues in the.
Speaker 2:Kool-Aid bro. I was like Dan, she came up to me you know she started talking about Biggie Smalls.
Speaker 1:Biggie Smalls, that was a real, that was a nice breaker I was like I like the big. Now what were you gonna say?
Speaker 2:I was just gonna say like.
Speaker 3:I mean, I felt like everybody had an idea of how they see their future, their future, how they plan out their life to be. And I will prefer to marry to a black man, but if it's not because I have anything against any other race, because I've dated white guys, I dated Asians, I've dated Hispanic Men who, who were Hispanic so like, and I dated a African too, so it's like I'm willing to date out my race. You know, I have no problem If you look good. You look good and I don't care. But I would love to create black babies. I do little chocolate, little babies with pretty hair like mage period. That's my preference.
Speaker 2:But if I can't, that stuff always translates like super weird to me like as a biracial, like it's always been, like they so cute. Why cut cut yourself off from other? I mean, that's the thing though, is like I was a cute ass baby and I was a mixed race baby. Of course, they just said it because, yes, I'm black and you say no, to play what?
Speaker 3:I'm just playing everybody. I'm just playing everybody. Which one your parents was?
Speaker 1:like I want some chocolate, which one? So my mom's a white woman and then my dad was black.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, I'm yoga. I was like playing when you going? No, where you going with this?
Speaker 1:I always wonder who was like dang that's a fine piece of chocolate. I always wondered no, I ain't gonna lie like I don't know what you guys ever do either.
Speaker 3:Good, and I know y'all, I said some white men that really like if it's not black to me it's white. Like I like white men too, like I really do like white men, I really do. But I'm always gonna go for my brothers. Pause, sweet home Alabama.
Speaker 2:Well, you got me Alabama.
Speaker 1:Pause with that shit, bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but anyway go ahead.
Speaker 1:I got another question. So how can technology like dating acts Um amplify or diminish certain privileges in the dating world?
Speaker 2:Ha ha ha, man, don't, we know it, don't, we know it, don't we know it. So, um, for things like Tinder specifically, women get to be like the primary selectors on Tinder as like frequently as they want. Um, and men typically have like a lot of complaints about their experiences with online dating. Um, I'm not someone who's like ever committed to online dating to any real extent. Like, I've literally installed Tinder before, swiped for like a day and a half and then just like, even if I match with people, I just won't message them because, like I don't really care to like go out of my way. I prefer meeting people in person and then like building off of that, either going to events, going to shows and then running into them there.
Speaker 2:Um, but you can say that it's like super duper skewed in favor of women. As far as dating apps go, um, just because they do get to really be the ones that pick A lot of the time, like, an average guy is not going to get as many matches as an average girl on Tinder, but, at the same time, I think, if an average guy gets a match on Tinder at all, it's most likely going to be, um, something that can turn into an actual relationship, whereas like an average girl getting matches, it's just a guy trying to fuck her, like that's really. That's kind of where it seems to land.
Speaker 1:I kind of agree, you know. So what's your uh? Have you been on hands at all?
Speaker 2:I haven't done anything like I'd literally done maybe four total days of Tinder swiping and that's about it.
Speaker 1:I just got on hands. I haven't met with anybody. Well, in fact, I was on. What was it wasn't hand. You know something else I was on and I went on a date First. Last two dates were pretty much. The conversation was like man, I'm stressed about my bills and I was like that's crazy, I don't want to hear about your bills. The first date no, like she's she looking for my guy.
Speaker 3:Listen, I say um, was it swipe?
Speaker 1:I don't know what I was doing this don't run last.
Speaker 3:Okay, I said, was it swipe?
Speaker 1:I don't know, that's day nap, it's gonna be day naps.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I want to say that I will prefer me. I definitely prefer to meet a person in person because I love a good vibe, but it depends on who it is. I sometimes you just got slide into the DM to get on these apps because I don't have enough confidence for certain people, honestly, because I'm low and I'm a little insecure, but I'm still outspoken and strange. So once we start to talk I'm like, oh my god, he probably can have my nose, probably can have my eyes. Oh my god, he took it out of my edges. Oh my god. So I prefer sometimes to hit you up online versus in person. It depends if I'm I've got a little shot maybe or some line, maybe I can you know, but it depends on the atmosphere. Sometimes I don't need any of that which whatsoever, and if it's a vibe and you know, and if it's just not like a one-on-one thing there's a lot of people around sometimes it's easier for me to like meet a person, like you know, said even you know me, so I would prefer that.
Speaker 1:I have a question what's a vibe to you? What does that mean? Huh, what does being a vibe mean, or a vibe is to you?
Speaker 3:What is a vibe and what is a vibe? What does a vibe mean? It depends, because a vibe could be meaning different things. But and Like a vibe for me is like a great connection, like we vibe and we laugh and we relate and then we have, and like you like that too. I like that too. No way you know that type of thing. Or like you know, um, we like like the same. We talk about y'all love having my toes a little this, and like you like it's all like that. Oh my god, I like minds like that too, like just being able to connect and be able to compare things. It's like, wow, we like literally the same things and being able to have the same humor. And it's like, oh, you actually think that's funny, you know. And then it's like, wow, this we've been like it's a vibe. So that's what I think that's another.
Speaker 1:I gotta follow questions of that. So have you ever noticed that the people who are really good at the first dates or second dates are usually people who stay single the longest?
Speaker 3:You said that people are able to be good at the first and second date. And then what?
Speaker 1:Are usually the people who stay longer or stay single longer, because they're really good at the initial but they're not really good at creating the relationship.
Speaker 2:This is me starting video games over and over again. I'll get to the point where I master like the first 10 levels in a game and then it's like, all right, this is kind of iffy. Now I'm just going to restart again and then make another character and just replay those same 10 levels over and over.
Speaker 1:That's literally how it is. Or, like I found I'm not saying it's a stereotype, but holds know how to communicate, like the people with the girls who talk to everybody know how to talk to everybody.
Speaker 2:I don't mind a little nervous or awkward.
Speaker 1:Exactly, I don't mind a little nervous, awkward, but the holds, they know how to communicate.
Speaker 2:Nia just said, speaking of vibes, I'm out of here.
Speaker 1:You get out of this vibe what was like a strange guy behind you.
Speaker 3:No, I had to get out of there, but I am here and I am alive and I'm loving it. But, yeah, I love a good vibe. I love a good vibe, though, but I get what he's saying. Sometimes you date a person for a couple of days and I'm pretty much over this, you know. But I don't get like that Like. I like being, I like relationships. I'm kind of clingy, I like dealing with just one person. So it's like I really need to try and get to know a person. I don't even let nobody get that close to me for that many days if I'm really not feeling them. And, honestly, about a first date, I kind of can tell if I have feelings of a person, because people expose themselves by the first date. Some people are so good at mastering and pretending they're one thing, but they're actually not.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, but I'm going to be here. I disagree a little bit. I'm going to start disagreeing more. I disagree on the first. You don't know if I'm on the first date and this is what I mean. I don't think you know anybody until like after day 90 plus.
Speaker 2:No, I think that's what she's saying Like more or less. Like that you put on the mask for the first couple of dates and then over time you get to see another side of people, but that first version be super fire, I think that's what she's saying.
Speaker 3:I don't think you disagree. I don't think you disagree at all, you just want to be like that every time. That's just like a good sandwich or a good sandwich.
Speaker 1:I practice my acting. A good sandwich, a good drink.
Speaker 3:It's like every time you have it you want it to be the same way, but it just don't happen that way. But you know.
Speaker 1:Exactly Because sometimes you don't get the right brand of pickles. You know what I mean. Let me see. Let's go back to society.
Speaker 2:I'm like are we still talking about privileges? This is a dating show. What happened?
Speaker 1:Right, like let's say we talked about a lot of things. All right, in what ways does privilege influence access to resources and opportunities in the broader society?
Speaker 2:It depends on the brand of privilege that you come up with. Again, like I said, privilege can come down to anything as small as like well, I just happen to have two parents. A black person who has two parents is going to, generally speaking, have advantages over someone who is black with only one parent and who's like dad, passed away and their mom has to work all the time. You might have the privilege of well, shit, I have no dad, but I successfully managed or my mom successfully managed to bring another man into her life who was a good stepdad. That person will have an advantage over someone who has both of their birth parents that are like deadbeats. So it really depends on what facet of life you're talking about and then who you're comparing them to, because that determines what the level of privilege actually does. If you have older parents, your parents that are both like oh God, he said I got two kids off Tinder. You have two parents that are older.
Speaker 2:My mom, for example.
Speaker 2:She had me at 43 years old and by the time I was in my early mid-teens, she had experienced a pretty bad fall that disabled her and knocked her out of the workforce, which limits her income, and then she had been a single mom for our entire lives, so you can imagine how that affects things.
Speaker 2:Limited income, which means limited access to opportunities that you have to spend money on, and all of that determines something. But because she did care about her children, other kids in my class would show up looking flyish it with like the nicest sneakers, the cool jeans, but they complained about their belly being like empty because their parents made them look good but didn't keep the fridge full. So I could say that, despite all the disadvantages of having no father, having no real stepfather and then having a disabled mother, because she cared enough to keep food on the table more than anything, I never went to school hungry like some of these other kids do. So there's just a lot of different ways that it can really create different impacts depending on what group you're talking about. Privilege is super broad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, it is Anything else, that's it.
Speaker 3:Now I'm still tripping off the two kids, the tender thing. But no, I definitely agree with him. You'll see a lot of children who is iced out, but at the same time it's no food at the house. They're not being properly taken care of. So I definitely agree with what Candel said.
Speaker 1:Zach, no opportunities to be a fat kid at all. How can privilege shape our worldview and understanding of social issues?
Speaker 2:Blinders. It gives you blinders, and this is what I was saying earlier is the biggest problem with privilege. Privilege itself is a good and great thing. It means you have advantages that allow you to not experience barriers. But when barriers are placed in front of you, you often have enough support systems in place to jump over them. You can make it past the barrier without too much struggle. But just put the question in one more time so I can make sure I address it directly.
Speaker 1:All right. So how can privilege shape one's worldview and understanding of social issues?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So if you spend your entire life having every obstacle in front of you, something that's like, okay, I can just jump it, just jump it, just jump it. When somebody behind you bang their knee and falls over and they fucking fall off the track completely, you look back and you're just like dude, come on, that was easy. And they're just like bro, I'm missing a leg. What do you mean? It was easy.
Speaker 2:Or there was a really really, really good picture that I saw before. It was like a political cartoon type deal. It was a bunch of people lined up on a track. It was a bunch of men and then a bunch of women. The men just had a clear track ahead of them and it was supposed to represent the career track.
Speaker 2:The women had a load of clothes in front of them that they had to wash and iron. They had kitchen accessories that they had to deal with, so they had to cook. And they have to do all this stuff before they get to think about their careers because we offset all the household duties onto women. So instead of women being able to just jump right into their career, their education and then build a life for themselves, the expectation for a long time was for them to be homemakers first. All men just get to do whatever and then become breadwinners, so in a way, there is a lot of privilege there that men can wear, expected to be able to go right into a career. This comes with pressure, but I wouldn't trade it any day to be like a subservient housewife who is stuck listening to her husband barefoot and pregnant 24-7.
Speaker 1:I would never trade that. I totally agree with that. I listen, god bless woman. I can't do it. I'd rather be out here figuring out and getting this money for the family than having kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you could say a major way that privilege is weaponized here is when men look at the experience of women today and they're just like oh my God, none of these women want to be homemakers or wives anymore. All of them are like it's girl boss, girl boss, girl boss. It's like, well, yeah, it makes sense. They weren't even allowed to have credit cards in their own names before. Now they can have a full college career. They can have a job after it in a STEM field or in marketing or something big that allows them to determine the direction of their own life. When we talked, was it two weeks ago now? We had the masculinity episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Men. Not being able to adapt to that and really adjust to the fact that women are allowed to have their own lives now creates a lot of difficulties for men. But the difficulty is just that men aren't adapting properly. The blinders that we put on from privilege can shape our worldview in a way where we think things are problematic that are hugely beneficial to other groups of people. There was a lot of pushback against the idea of adding ramps to public buildings before. There was pushback for adding Braille. Why do we need Braille in elevators? That's a big cost for 2% of the population, but that 2% of the population is hugely grateful toward that. The same thing happens.
Speaker 2:I mentioned the LGBTQ community earlier. A lot of people are thinking why do we need to have the? Why does it have to be cis? Gender versus transgender? Why can't I just be a man? Why can't I just be a woman? Well, it makes it a lot easier to have the conversation when you actually allow those groups of people to not feel alienated by the language you refuse to adopt. Society itself, almost everything that you experience. If you don't have to think about it because of your privilege, that's exactly what it means. You don't need to think about the problem because it doesn't affect you. It's not a problem for you. You don't experience it, but there are entire swaths of people whose lives are made or broken by the things you choose to ignore out of your own ignorance or your own sense of self-safety.
Speaker 1:Shout out to the it ain't me movement. I should be like a thing For the people with a privilege to ignore it. It ain't me movement.
Speaker 2:That was the whole thing about BLM, when white people were like well, what about white lives? Don't white lives matter? No one should ever say white lives don't matter or even get mad at them for saying it. The easiest way to defuse somebody who says well, white lives matter, yeah, you're right, there's no problem with you saying it.
Speaker 1:Oh, he had the remind you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you don't even have to go that far with it because they're trying to bait you. The problem is people getting into the fights. With them it's like okay, now it literally just sounds like you're saying white lives don't matter and you look down. But when white people say it, they're not really thinking about the real experience of other people because again, the privilege makes them think well, my dad was on crack, my mom was a hooker. I have a bad life too. I never had it easy. I had difficulties. I'm not privileged at all, but it's not really relevant to the conversation, because it's not so much. What have you not experienced is the important part. What do you not have to deal with? What obstacles are not in front of you that these other people have to overcome?
Speaker 1:I love it, nia.
Speaker 2:I don't have this on the chat, but she said she's in the car right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can hear y'all, though Are you driving? I was listening to what Kandell was saying. Can y'all hear me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Are you driving? He said are you driving no?
Speaker 3:I'm not driving. I'm not driving, I think she's on the line. But I was basically saying no, I'm not either. But I was basically saying what's the Kandell agreeing with? Kandell basically saying I agree as not easy being a woman and as a man it is kind of easier because you guys can go out and just make the money and then bring home money and just take care of your family. So I would just agree into that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've been. Let me get privileged too, but at the same time, if a man is sure on rent, who's going to give them the $200?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, this isn't even a fair question, because this was just an experience I had. I had been out of work for a while, ran out of savings and I couldn't actually find a decent job that would cover me. And if I started a job that was like $11 an hour I was just going to be working for nothing because none of the money would be enough. So I actually did do community fundraising and raise like $1100 in four days. It did. It does happen.
Speaker 2:More than anything, I would say, the position where women have more privileges it's not usually in like a societal standard type of way. It's more things like dating, like where women do get to pick, like who they go out with. But even then you have to argue like is it really a privilege to be the selector when, if they make the wrong choice, they're like 10 times more likely to be murdered by their partners than men are? Like men aren't out here getting marked by women. But if a woman goes and this gets even worse when you start to account for non-sistender people, so anybody who is trans if a trans woman goes out on a date, after meeting someone on Tinder they find out she's trans, she's probably going to get either murdered or abused.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought that's a really big deal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's super calm too. I wasn't taking away that women don't have that, oh no, I wasn't disagreeing with what you were saying. I was more coming away, I was talking about what you more said.
Speaker 3:Basically, I was letting you know that I'm not saying that women aren't privileged at all. I was just basically saying that it's easier to just get up and just brush your teeth, wash your bowls, put your shoes on, go out and work and bring some money home, Versus a woman have to prepare dinner, clean the house, get the kids ready and have to also take care of herself and still try to manage her own money too. You getting what I'm saying. So it's a little easier for y'all because it's like we're nurturers by heart. We want to cater, we want to take care. So that's just what I was saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we do that privilege. When it comes to what's acceptable standard-wise versus what's acceptable for y'all-wise, I don't have different expectations. We do benefit from it getting up and, I guess, washing my balls and hitting out.
Speaker 2:It's more than anything. It's the social expectation. The expectation for women for a long time was to just be housewife, was to be mother, was to be my homemaker. And now things are flipping and a lot of men are pissed about it because, like I said earlier when we were discussing it on the masculinity episode, women have embraced a lot more of what we consider like masculine traits. They are getting into the workforce, they are getting into education, but men are not doing things like becoming more emotionally intelligent, becoming more caring and compassionate. Men aren't really doing that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:What needs to be more caring and compassionate.
Speaker 2:It's absolutely men. If you were to name three of the most popular male figures for young men right now, it's like Andrew Tate, Sneeko and Fresh and Fit, and all three of these icons are their womanizers. They want men to return to the traditional like well, you should be able to build a home and be the breadwinner, and you need to find you a traditional woman who's going to listen to you, sit down and shut up and then take care of the babies. This is what modern men are looking up to, or modern young, young, young men are looking up to. Some of the kids in the school that I work at are already like I experienced them talking about.
Speaker 1:Andrew Tate. Still, they tater tots.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all. I never heard tater tots before I was made to not want to fly, but I've never heard that before, because of like small, you know small fries. But yeah, they do already lean along those lines. And these guys aren't the ones talking about being more emotionally intelligent, more sociable, building better connections, healthier connections, with the men around you. They're generally talking about returning to traditional values for women while progressing into a more modern era for men, leaving women behind in, like the 1950s.
Speaker 1:Can we go off route a little bit? And before we close it up, how do y'all feel about the whole alpha male thing, beta male thing?
Speaker 2:I think real alpha males wouldn't be worried about it. Like, to me it's not that big of a deal. I think it's really really weird to have like the conversation as to. For me it's weird to focus so much on someone else's masculinity and then to be like upset or judgmental toward someone. Being a beta, and it's like you're the one that's losing your frame. You're the one that's coming out of character to get upset at somebody else. You're the one who is more worried about what's on somebody else's plate than yours or whose grass is greener than yours. So, yeah, for me I've always thought it was pretty stupid.
Speaker 2:We're not barbarians, we're not cavemen, we're not apes anymore. Like. We've evolved far beyond the point of just being like bum scratchers that live in the middle of fucking like the jungle, and I do mean like literal evolution. These people are referring to a time of humanity when we weren't homo sapiens yet, and that's and to me it's just stop being primitive, get into the modern era. What makes you a decent human being now is your ability to like connect with other humans on a realistic level, not your ability to like dominate the tribe.
Speaker 1:What about you now? What do you feel about this? You going to have them alpha uh Negroes.
Speaker 3:No, um, I basically I definitely agree, but I was thinking more about the masculinity thing and when it comes to the minute, a woman I do feel like it's more like roll over to Kierdiki is take um, lay down on your back and just that's just it. Like he was thinking about the modern woman and stuff like that. So I definitely agree with that. I feel like just Tom has changed where it's like women becoming more independent and also women not that we don't want to sit home and be technically a housewife, some woman but at the same time you still want to have that respect as well, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think I miss an exception, too is like like man I don't know if you can deal with like men, like we get we start respecting people from what they do. Like people, other people earn respect. You know what I mean, and I think like for me, like dating wise, I think women earn respect. Or like hire on my choice. You know what I mean, but um, what was it though? What was it? Oh my God, I lost my train of thought about it. I'm sorry, guys.
Speaker 2:I mean a general question is like, or not even a question, a concern is that women are more respected based on how attractive they are to the man that's in a position over them. So, um, like you were saying earlier, a woman who is a stud isn't as likely to get help in the workforce. She's probably not getting looked at for like promotions and stuff as easily as the woman who comes into work like looking feminine and like well dressed as as like her womanly role on a daily basis. And again, that's not to relegate women to that role just to qualify to anyone who might be watching, but to recognize that there are like those advantages that come from the patriarchal view of women are not valuable unless they are beautiful, which is fucked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't suck, because I think a lot of times like oh yeah, it was pretty privileged, like I think women do get the pretty privileged as well.
Speaker 2:Men also have it, though Men also have privilege.
Speaker 1:And that's how I was going with the tall thing. I've seen, like a lot of my friends who are like, I guess, quote unquote, tall, do get treated better by ladies, or do you might be seeing them, I mean yeah, it would.
Speaker 2:I would say that it's generally true. But I also think that for the most part anyone who's quality that's like worth dating, if you get into like that kind of conversation with them, you being shorter will never be like a disqualifier and if it is a disqualifier you probably don't want to be with that person anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man. Anyways, what are some practical steps individually to take to recognize their own privilege and use it in a positive way?
Speaker 2:The most important thing is, like I said earlier, privilege just gives you blinders. The most important thing that you can do is take off those blinders and realize I'm not everyone. Not everyone has my experiences, not everyone has lived the life that I lived, and my life has certain advantages over anybody who has like a different life. So, while I might have the advantage or a disadvantage of being like I don't make a lot of money, I make okay money. It keeps a roof over my head, keeps my fridge full, and then, in order to like raise my income, I would have to go to college more or less. But I still have an advantage over somebody who is like, literally homeless right now, even if they are college educated but they're like wife, divorced them and they lost everything because their mental health declined. Like I have advantages over that person because I'm currently in a position to do more about my life to improve it that they can. The biggest things are to take the communities that you are not a part of and figure out what your advantages are over those communities. So, for me, I do identify as like an LGBTQ person, as a bisexual man, but I'm also not, or I am, a cisgender man too, so I don't have to deal with the trials and tribulations of being trans. I don't need to worry about that. I don't have the same experiences as someone who is in the process of transitioning, whether passing or otherwise.
Speaker 2:I have the advantage of like, and this is something that I grew up with, more or less. I was raised by white people, but I watched it and I also watched a lot of white media, so I developed a lot of like the white speaking patterns right. So I had white teachers that would be like oh well, you talk better than like the rest of them and like you know exactly what they mean by that. So that's an advantage that I have, and for a long time I looked at it and I'm just like oh yeah, look at me, I'm just smarter than you guys. But it's not really a matter of intelligence. It's a matter of who is perceiving you and then who is putting those points on you.
Speaker 2:For me, it was white teachers that were giving me those advantages over other kids who were raised in black households who spoke black, or were raised in like lower income homes who spoke black. I had that kind of advantage. So for me, it's a matter of not recognizing I have like I'm smarter than anybody, but that the way I communicate is more suitable for the majority of society, absolutely. And then again, as someone who is bisexual, even I tend to date people who are like feminine. I tend to date women mostly, and then I'm not, like I'm not homoromantic, like I'm not really romantically attracted to men, like there will be a case where it's like okay, well, yeah, I'll fool around or whatever, but like most of the people that I actually get into relationships with will be women, which just lends to the idea that I will be almost always be perceived as straight.
Speaker 1:On the flip. They're perceived straight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mostly perceived as someone who is straight, because I really only mess around with women for the most part and those are like some of the big things, but it's all just like who am I not? And then what problems do they experience? And how can I really serve to uplift their voices more and tune my own voice down a little bit, not to silence myself, but to teach myself how to better advocate for the people who are hurting more than I am.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. All right, bet no. With that being said, now I think for me using, I guess, like my black privilege, especially when it comes like the corporate offices, when the majority might be like in charge and they have to make those special, like those conversations that are very, very sensitive, I think me being there the elevate any racial attention can really benefit. You know what I mean. Or if someone's trying to convey a positive message to you, you don't take it the wrong way because you're prepared to defend yourself, because you're perceiving them as discriminative or racist. You know what I mean. So it's just me. I'm like oh, I know Jamar isn't, but if we got Leslie over there she might be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. That's just about what I would say, like, if you have a privilege, the most important thing is that you are willing to build a bridge to those who don't have the same privileges, and that is like the number one responsibility. And a lot of people will not even do that. They like white people who say, like well, there's nothing wrong with being black anymore. You guys were freed a long time ago. There's no discrimination against black people. They're not hearing the problems that we're actually talking about. They're putting their fingers in their ears and then taking the few problems that were solved and using those to ignore everything else.
Speaker 2:It's almost like a socially conditioned gaslighting that they're encouraged to do as men. Men do it to women when they say things along the lines is like well, what are the odds that you actually get like murdered if you go out on a date with somebody? It's like it doesn't matter the odds. The fear is still there and it only needs to happen once to be a problem If you're dealing with, like queer issues or anything LGBTQ, really, all of that like well, why? Why do the gays need to get married? Well, if you're not married and your partner is on their deathbed, the hospital can rightfully decline your ability to visit them. So yeah, gay people kind of want to be able to get married.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you came into like if your partner died, like you came in like take like the readment. You can't help with any spousal issues or anything like that as well. Yeah, I mean like yeah we're not being said, I think we done a great show.
Speaker 2:Closing statements boys and girls.
Speaker 1:Closing statements. All right, just to reaffirm a boy, roy Roy. In the comments he says it was also a fiery relationship. We didn't want to make sure you know you didn't get two years, two kids out of nowhere on 10. You just pick up two different girls. You kind of earned that right. But with that being said, guys, remember we're all privileged in many different ways. Use your privileges for good. It's not a good or bad thing, Don't feel guilty, enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Well, I would. I would disagree. I would say again privilege is a great thing, but do not allow your privileges to be a denier for people who don't have them. If you have a privilege, you have a right and a responsibility to use that privilege to try and uplift those who don't have the same access. If somebody's like hey, like well I'm, they invited me into the club, but you're not cool enough, like you should probably be like hey, man, this guy's pretty cool, I know. I'm let him in the club, right.
Speaker 1:That's on Simon man Cold sign.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where I lean with that.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, Kendall, how can we find you? I understand you on Twitch or you're on YouTube.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so twitchtv slash Afro Mortis. I do have a YouTube page, but I don't really upload on there yet. Primary place that you can find me most consistently uploading is right under the as the culture turns team. So that's as the culture turns on YouTube. On Instagram, we have a tech talk, we're on Facebook. All of it is as the culture turns.
Speaker 1:All right, with that bit. We bid you a do check this out on the next episode. Peace out, guys. Have a good day.
Speaker 2:Good night.
Speaker 1:Good night.